Discipline Or Mistreatment

by Name Undisclosed
(Location Undisclosed)

Right now I am a teenager but when I was younger like two-three years old, my mom used to say she was disciplining me she used to leave me bruises as she spanked me for little tiny things like pour my milk on my oatmeal. I was always told that was discipline. But one time I remember so clearly was after eating at Mcdonalds she took me home spanked me and said she was "cleaning me" as I was still in diapers at the time, but the more I realize about how exactly it felt she was touching me wrong.

And when I was 9-13 I had these rages fighting with my brother who was also 13, and my parents always threatened him not to fight back, but it kept going and I didn't hit hard, my brother did, twice as hard. My parents have hit me and spank me hard, and shove me to the floor, and recently beat me with a belt. I told my friends about my parents doing all of that. I got in huge trouble for that. I can't ever tell anyone about my young childhood, and I am at loss. My parents tell me that if my brother fights back, whatever he does to me I deserve it. And I told my cousin before about my brother and parents, and I just need a secure safe place to share, because I can't take holding back my emotions anymore. I am 15 and I'm still going through it.

My parents are super strict and won't accept any of this, and they deny this information to this day and tell me that I never apologized when I did. My parents humiliate me and my mom is emotionally abusive too. I just don't know if this is all abuse or discipline.

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Comments for Discipline Or Mistreatment

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Feb 18, 2016
To Name Undisclosed:
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

Parents have the right to "spank" their children using what is often identified as "reasonable force" in most countries of the world. But just because the law allows it doesn't mean it's right. The feelings and emotions that the child are left with are anger, rage and hostility.

What you described above did and does cross a line. One of the many reasons I do not advocate for physical discipline (this one lower on the list because there are so many developmental reasons to oppose physical discipline on children) is that it's too easy for a sick and twisted parent or guardian to use it as a form of sexual abuse. And it doesn't have to be intended. Every year many children go into ERs with damage to their genitals, especially boys, as a result of physical discipline. Even the word "spanking" is far too sanitized a word to be used in describing the physical beating of a child. Not to mention how mainstream it has become for sexual gratification between 2 consenting adults.

Allowing your brother to hurt you and other measures you described above do seem to cross into abuse. And your parents seems to understand that they've crossed a line since they won't allow you to talk about what they do. That denotes knowledge of mistreatment or at the very least, wanting to hide what they are doing.

You didn't say where you live, so I don't know what hotline number to offer. If you are either in the USA or Canada, consider contacting Child Help at 1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453) in order to talk to someone. They are staffed 24/7 with professionally trained counsellors who will listen to you. They are not a reporting agency, although they can help you through the process of reporting if you decide to disclose. Visit their website by copying & pasting the following URL into your browser: https://www.childhelp.org/hotline/

If you don't live in the USA, but in one of the areas listed on my stories page, contact the appropriate hotline that is listed there in order to talk to someone confidentially.

You deserve to be treated with dignity and respect and love. Please consider talking to a counsellor at one of the hotlines above.

I send you love, light and healing energy. Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir

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