Diapered By Misguided Mother

by Peter
(United Kingdom)

Gonna try and get some bad memories off my chest. I suffer from from very emotional times at the hands of my mother who to most people appeared to be a good parent, and yes could be great mother the majority of the time but mood swings were often taken out on me. I wet the bed and was very late to get toilet trained just out of nappies before starting school in the day with frequent accidents so was no stranger to having to wear a nappy back in the day of having to wash terry squares and rubber pants which when my mother was discreet about it I could go along with. I was taken to doctor and clinics but never anything physical found wrong with me.

My mothers patience would run out now and again as she was firmly believer that my bedwetting was due to laziness she would try every so often to not use nappies but I would just flood the bed so as I got older she tried shaming and quite humiliating punishments on me. As anyone who has wet the bed will know it is very embarrassing and very doubtful to be done on purpose.

Our house would always had a cane or a belt for discipline but was never used as a punishment for bedwetting but for other misdemeanor was often used. I would have rather been caned than humiliated with the use of nappies and rubber pants.

My mother liked the punishment to fit the crime. Often had my wet sheets held up to my face to emphasise my dirty bedwetting habit. If I had used and wet my nappy I would often have to wait in it for a while maybe till after breakfast, or for a hour or two. I think she thought the development of nappy rash would deter me wetting myself. She sometimes made me look at my wet nappied state in the mirror.

One of the worst things I recall is where I accidentally dirtied my nappy. I was about 10 and she went into a rage holding my soiled rubber pants to my face threatening to rub my nose in them. But then she could calm down and be the kindest loving parent anybody could wish for.

I have been always too embarrassed to tell my ordeals to anyone. I now am a ordinary 50-year-old man happily married with my own children who I love to bits and could not even comprehend mistreating them in anyway.

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Comments for Diapered By Misguided Mother

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Feb 06, 2015
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

I applaud and commend you for breaking the cycle with your own children.

We're about the same age. So we grew up during the same era. And in that era, parents were not as well informed as they are today. Mothers (and fathers) adopted forms of discipline during that time that are not acceptable today. They often did so at the advice of doctors and others who were considered experts in the field. They may also have incorporated methods that others touted as a way to eliminate the behaviour. There was seldom any understanding of what the discipline could do to the child; it was all about getting rid of the behaviour. And there certainly was very little understanding of why children wet the bed in the first place. It was considered laziness, but also defiance. And defiance was the worst of the crimes to commit.

So what does all this mean for you? When we can change our perspective about what we endured, that new way of looking at what happened can often lead to healing. You have no shame to carry, Peter. None whatsoever. For the bedwetting or for the way you were mistreated as a result. The humiliation you suffered weighs heavily on you still. Perhaps the weight can be somewhat lifted with a greater understanding of what your mother was attempting to do, terribly misguided as it was.

I send you love, light and healing energy, Peter. Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir

Nov 24, 2015
i just dont know
by: Anonymous

Kids wet the bed. Moms get pressured and snap. Maybe cultural expectations or something. Misguided as the title suggests.

How does one forgive and move on?

Also isn't it interesting how different people and kids reach differently. Like I also wet the bed. Yet in my family, it was a non issue. Almost too much so. I used to feel totally powerless and it seemed like no one cared. No one encouraged me to be dry. It was not every night but several times a week. Enough that I thought there was hope and then it was dashed time and time again. I just wore a nappy and plastic pants and if it was wet, I put it straight in the washing machine. That was just the way it was. A continual thing. something to be ashamed of yet nothing said and nothing done.

I don't recall going to the doctor but I asked my mom about it years later and she said the doctor said I would grow out of it and eventually I did. Around 16 I think. I know the fear of "a lapse" lasted much longer.

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