Comments for Child Abuse Story From Stephen

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Feb 11, 2012
 Stephen:
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

You are not the one to carry the shame and guilt. That belongs squarely on the shoulders of that sick pedophile and the school authorities who put you at risk. "Foolishly I agreed, I didn't see him as a threat." I bristled when I read this and when you wrote in a derogatory way, "shows how smart I was". You were a little boy, a little boy who was so vulnerable for so many reasons. This pedophile of a janitor took advantage of your youth and those vulnerabilities. He had all the power, and he misused that power for his own sexual gratification. And the school enabled it. Understand that your vulnerabilities were not only that you wanted and needed a father figure in your life, but also the way the school system put you at risk. You're nineteen years old right now...this didn't happen 50 years ago when society was ignorant of the abuses that were going on in the world of children, it's not as if the school authorities weren't aware of the risks. Yet no safety measures were incorporated to ensure you or the others were kept safe from harm. You didn't say where you live, so I can't say if you have any recourse through the legal system. You can look into reporting what happened to you and the two other girls, but if you do, make sure you have a strong support system in place and that you speak openly about doing so with your counsellor. While I do believe that the school and that janitor need to be held accountable for their actions and inactions, you need to be prepared for the possibility that nothing will come to pass judicially as a result of a disclosure. If justice is tied into your healing, you may well be disappointed. But if you go into such a disclosure with the intent of no longer keeping the secret, you stand a better chance of continuing to walk along your own path toward healing and recovery. You ARE strong, Stephen. You showed that by surviving, and by giving up on the drinking you used as a coping skill. Stay in counselling. You didn't deserve the abuse, and you didn't deserve to be betrayed and abandoned. You certainly deserve continued help for the fact that you were. I send you love, light and healing energy, Stephen. Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Feb 12, 2012
 another
by: Scott 1

Hi Stephen

Im so sorry to hear that this has happened to you.

Sad to hear that yet another person has been abused in school. As Darlene pointed out 50 years ago there werent the safeguards there are today. When I was abused in public school it was by a woman, like you wrote Im sure had a thing for spanking. But back then it was encouraged and condoned. This opened the door for even more inapropriate behaviour towards me. Isolated and alone. Its sad this can still occure in the school system today undetected.

It wasnt your fault. I hope it helps a little to know that I can relate to some of what you went through. From one school abuse servivor to another, you arent alone.
Apr 08, 2012
 your still here
by: Anonymous

im really sorry for what you went through and your not alone. its disgusting how many kids ar hurt evryday from this kind of abuse and the worst part is the memories, at least for me. like you i was coerced to have sex with other kids, boys and girls,my age. but when u blame yourself its like suffering two crimes. punishing yourself when the janitors the 1 who deserves it and keeping him safe by not telling. i know it can be really extremely hard to tell the first time BUT IT DOES GET EASIER. the more you let it out the better you will feel.
MY aunt was the first one i told and she said
" let your tears wash (abusers name here) from your life'
May 09, 2012
 Thank You All
by: Stephen

Thank you everyone for the support and advise that you have offered and for the support yet to come. I am truly grateful for this site because it showed me im not alone in my struggles as well as not being the only one to deal with this kind of abusive history.

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