Comments for Child Abuse Story From Nicole

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Dec 07, 2010
 Nicole:
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

Your uncle "groomed" you. He planned what he did and then carried it out with control and manipulation. He took advantage of your youth, your need to feel loved, and every one of your vulnerabilities. This wasn't about him loving you; it was about him taking control of you, taking away any power you might have had. You see, he had all the power, and he misused that power in order to get you to do what he wanted, and in order to get you to keep the secret. So don't for one second think this man cared about you or loved you. People who care and love DO NOT sexually abuse. He's a sex offender of the worst kind. None of what happened was your fault. Not one iota of it. Fault lies with your uncle and on the family members who put you and your sister in harms way by sending a known pedophile to prey on you both. I'm disgusted by what your grandmother called you. She is deeply disturbed, and not worth another thought. Please consider some form of counseling in order to deal with the repercussions and in order to gain perspective on what that sick uncle did to you and how he did it. Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Dec 08, 2010
 absolutely disgusting relatives
by: My Two Cents

Your uncle was molesting your cousin for years and that branch of the family sent him to stay with your family?!? Knowing that there were vulnerable children in the family and he had already offended?!? Then, dear old grandma thinks it is "your fault"???????

Good grief! None of the adults in the family who knew this behaved appropriately. Your uncle never should have been allowed near a child after he was found out the first time.

Your mom and the judge are both to be applauded for helping you and standing up to protect you - that is a responsibilty that so many other adults FAILED.

Neither you or your sister, or any other child did anything wrong, none of this was your fault and you stood up in court and called your uncle to account. This is incredibly brave of you and I believe this will help you on the path to healing.

I really have to say I am so disgusted at the "relatives" and "grandma" in your story for placing you in danger and blaming you for what happened. It was NOT your fault!!

Be well.

My Two Cents.
Dec 08, 2010
 My Two Cents
by: Anonymous

I can not believe what I've just read!!! Who in there right minds would blame a child for being sexually abused? I'm not trying to be rude to an elderly but your grandma had no sense of brain when she said that it was your fault! And she was actually dumb enough to send him to you? She should have known what was going to happen if it happened to your cousin! Again, not to be rude but it just shows she doesn't care! But I'm so happy for you! you found the courage to take your "uncle" to court and he is behind bars. I know you said that you still miss him but what you did was right and you shouldn't feel bad. Also, don't blame yourself for not protecting your sister. It wasn't your fault you were just put in the wrong place at the wrong time. He made you think it was right and he dragged your sister in too. It's okay. You'll be ready to heal when the right time comes for you.
Hope your doing well!
Dec 17, 2010
 You Poor Girl
by: Anonymous

Dear Nicole-
As freaky as this is going to sound, you sound a lot like me. I know that if I had done what you had, I wouldn't be in the predicament I am now. I know it seems like you just want to talk to him, but do yourself the favor, DON'T! I thought talking to my abusers would make things right, but they ended up almost pulling me back in for another round. I see my latest abuser almost every holiday and trust me, it scares me. He still will try and make advances, I resist and in a few years past, I've gotten beaten for it.
You, dear, were so brave. What you did for your family I could never do, I was so shaken with fear I could hardly speak sometimes. That I believe is the only difference between us two- you did not fear your abuser, where as all of mine, beat me into submission. God, I feel like I'm taking your thunder for sharing your story, but I really feel that what you did was right and you staying as far away as possible is what you need to do. Do yourself the favor, don't end up like me.
Dec 22, 2010
 Thank you!
by: Anonymous

I want to say Thank you all so much for all your kind words! Even though i did stay strong and fight, I still feel weak! No one is stealing my thunder I wanted to put my story out there! Its hurts me to think about it, but it also help me feel better! Like i am not the only one with a trouble passed! I did go to therapy for awhile but I was forced to stop because the therapist didnt side with my mom in her whoa was me act. My mom did call the police but ever since she acts like she is the only one who lost anything and she gets offended if people dont show her the attention about it she needs! I have since cut off all ties with my mom and her family! And i dont go to therapy but i am trying to work thru my jealousy issues and trust issues with men!

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