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Jan 23, 2012
 To Name Undisclosed:
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

I can understand why you interpret forgiveness as you do; I used to believe as you do. Until I learned that forgiveness is not at all saying that what that person did to you was "okay". Forgiveness is for YOU. Forgiveness says that I will no longer allow the rage and hostility to control me. I will no longer allow what you did to me control my life. As long as we stay angry and rage-ful toward anyone who has wronged us in our past, we create a war inside our Selves that manifests in every aspect of our lives. As long as one stays angry and hostile at someone, that someone continues to control our behaviour, which is the exact opposite of what we want. But in order to get to the place of forgiveness, we must first deal with the effects the abuse had on us. If we don't, we bury our emotions; and those buried emotions keep trying to re-surface for the rest of our lives. Just when we think we're finally over the effects, we're cast into yet another issue or depression or dysfunction. You wrote "I am nothing". In other words, you still believe the lies "the wife" instilled in you. But they WERE and ARE lies. You ARE worthy and lovable. Yet you still subscribed to the "I am nothing" mantra. Please seek out some form of counselling or therapy in order to help you deal with the repercussions of what you were forced to endure, both at the hands of "the wife" as you call her, and the abandonment of your father. After all, it was his responsibility to ensure you were kept safe from harm. Whether or not he was out of town on business, there still would have been unmistakable signs. Signs that he simply ignored. You didn't deserve to be abused. You definitely deserve help for the fact that you were. Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me. I send you love, light and healing energy.

From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir

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stories on this site are true. While I cannot guarantee
this, I do try to balance the need for the submitter to be
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