Comments for Child Abuse Story From Monica For My Daughter

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Apr 30, 2010
 Monica:
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

I hope the authorities have contacted you, and if not, that you've followed up on the complaint. Continue to be an advocate for your daughter. And understand that she's saying "sorry Mummy" because she sees (and feels) your understandable distress. It is innately part of being a child that they believe everything that is going wrong in their lives is their fault. As adults, we know that's not true; but children don't know or understand this. Do the best you can to be as normal as you can...then have your breakdown when and where she cannot see or hear it. Difficult, I know, but that's key to her stability. Thank you for sharing your daughter's story with my visitors and me. And I wish you both all the best as you deal with this terrible situation.

From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir
May 01, 2010
 You are a Good Mother: You want to safeguard your child
by: maurice

Monica, great you found Darlene, if you heed her supporting, loving, encourageing words then you will certainly be doing waht is right and good both for yourself and your doting child: Children can't differenciate what is righ and wrong so they must be helped: Her sicko of a father needs to be put miles away from her as she knows no better at her age his peverted mind in his abuse of her. My care and concern and love for you and your child is that you follow Darlene woaman heart insticts as well as her trained knowledge in what you should do> Hopefully you have another family member or real and trusting friends who will listen to you, hear your mothers heart for the safety and protection of your child. You are a good mother: Always believe in yourself. You'll be strong enough to do the right thing for your preciousness> My prayers are with you Monica>
May 04, 2010
 Your a GREAT mom!!
by: K.C.

Your are very strong and amazing mom for doing what your doing. Don't think that it's your fault, and don't blame yourself for not seeing. Your a good mom for doing this, don't ever think other wise.

I wish my mom was like that.
May 07, 2010
 You are a GREAT MOM
by: Bless you

Dear Monica, your story has touched my heart and stirred up some awful memories of my own. When my only son was very young we went through almost the same experience (although the perp wasn't a family member and the abuse didn't involve penetration), I cried when he told me and he asked me "Mommy, why are you crying?", I told him because I love him and what he was describing was a very bad thing to happen to him and I don't want anything bad to happen to him. I also told him that it wasn't his fault that he didn't do anything bad, that $%@$%$^^$ was bad, and I promised him justice.

When we (yes,the parents need therapudic help too), seen the therapist she told me I did everything right by my son, just like I now type that you did and are doing the right thing by your daughter, and I agree that keeping her away from her father is of the utmost importance!

Of course she still loves him - she had no idea that it was wrong. When we're children we believe our parents know everything and everything they do is right and normal, abusers know this and take advantage of it. I'd advise to try and not mention him around her unless she does and try to explain his absence as a "have to" for now, she's sooo young that explaining "court" and "law" would only confuse her more. As it is that she still loves him, I suggest not talking him down no matter how much he deserves it, try " I wish things were different." Please get therapy for you both, Is there a Children's Treatment Center you can contact? They're truely Godsends.

As for how long the legal process will take that depends, the perp from ago went in hiding for 5 months before being caught then proceeded to get remand after remand for 7 months till he finally got his big 3 months house arrest. Yes it was like a slap on the wrist for him and a slap in the face for us, so please be prepared for an almost non-sentence. My guess is he'll deny deny deny so a year in the courts is a conservative guess.

My best wishes and prayers for you both, hold on to the knowledge that YOU ARE A GREAT MOM AND DID THE RIGHT THING, GOD BLESS YOU!

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