Comments for Child Abuse Story From J

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Mar 05, 2012
 J:
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

When you and your sister were children, your parents were the ones who were responsible to ensure your safety. They neglected you when they allowed your sister to harm you. Now she continues to do so; and if she is still bringing the threat of harm to you, you have the right to seek out a restraining order. And if you're fearful of what others will say if you do this, then you are doing your own children a disservice. Whatever is troubling your sister, you can't help her. All you can do is what you must in order to keep your Self and your children safe. Please seek out some form of counselling for the effects of what you endured at the hands of your sister and at the neglect of our parents. You didn't, and still don't, deserve to be abuse. You deserve help for the fact that you were. I send you love, light and healing energy, J. Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Mar 06, 2012
 The Horror
by: Anonymous

J, I can't believe that your parents would abandon you to that sick, sadistic monster of a sister and allow her to beat and berate you 24/7...how dare she! That's not even sibling rivalry; that's just torture. She is really acting like a little 1-year-old trapped in a grown-woman's body because she's still stuck in her own childhood. I doubt that she's even angry at you; she's just as hateful as ever, not to mention deeply troubled and sadistic, so please for your own safety as well as your kids' safety, the next time she ever lays a hand on you ever again, please look into reporting her ASAP, since kids around her are always at risk.
Mar 06, 2012
 response from J of California
by: Anonymous

Thank you so much for the comments and advice. I made excuses for my sister for most of my life and excuses for my Mom, too. I still have issues with confronting them. Part of my mind has been so stuck in the thinking I was forced to adopt in childhood. I brought it up to my Mother recently and she brought up an incident that happened when I was about 14 and said I took my sister's side (not how I remember it at all) and that I was always on my sister's side and got mad at me for not protecting her, my Mother said I should have protected my Mother when my sister fought with her and intimidated her and was angry that I had ever taken my sister's side or kept anything secret. When I read the comment about being neglected I felt- Aha, yes! But there is not much I can do about it now that would help me put it to rest that I can think of. Of course my Mother has total amnesia about all the times I had injuries, even had to go the hospital with my front teeth knocked out with her knowing the full reason why and she just won't respond or do anything about it, as always. I have no problem washing my hands of my sister and even going public with it but my Mom.. that's a hard one. I don't feel there is anything to gain by trying to hash out my problems with her when I can just sweep it under the rug and forgive and be sure there is not much she can do to hurt me besides say things I feel are big time crazy and keep her at a distance. Let her live in her cloud of delusion, her lack of understanding is nothing new to me. I can only work on me, I can't really change anyone else. Even if they wanted to change and had a large team of professionals trying.. I have doubts their minds would work in what I feel is a normal way. Once I got far away from them I have achieved a wonderful happy life that most people would be very proud of. I put myself through college and have a wonderful husband and children. I do feel strong enough to take on going public and getting a restraining order but I don't know at what point I would do that. I'm not sure what is reasonable to do because no one I would rely on for advice has anything like this they have had to deal with, I know because I asked =). Maybe it is part of what attracts me to be friends with someone- that they come from a family with no violence or enabling or neglect. So far it's working out pretty well.

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