Comments for Child Abuse Story From Craig

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Mar 08, 2010
 Craig:
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

You WERE sexually assaulted. Females most definitely can be sex offenders. The fact that you are male does NOT mean that you should consider yourself lucky; exactly the opposite—you were victimized. Anyone who says to "get over yourself" or that "you were lucky" lacks understanding and awareness. And just for the record, comments of such lacking will not be tolerated on this site. What you are now dealing with are the messages you have received as a result of societal biases that males have always had to live with. And as a result of social biases, males seldom talk about their victimization. But you've opened up here, and that's a huge step. You need help dealing with the repercussions of being sexually assaulted, Craig, so that you can move forward in your life and allow real intimacy into your life without panic attacks. Don't be ashamed, because you have nothing to be shameful for. I suggest you seek out some form of counselling. Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Mar 08, 2010
 Cheer up craig
by: Paul1

i feel you need some professional help to help you with your abuse you suffered and has left you lacking confidence in sexual situations. Sexual dysfuntions need special treatment you could see a private therapist or you could look up on sensate focus exercise plan which removes all the pressure away where you feel more in control. Its also good for anxiety and sexual adversion for child abuse issues. it would start by you learning to Relax focusing on something calming to use in your anxiety producing situations then would use a series of stages with your partner which increase intensity of touch. it works
Mar 11, 2010
 Respecting the other is always a must for me.
by: Maurice

Craig, Great you arrived on Darlene's safe haven site. please read her commnet to you, she sure has put what happened to you in total respective. That girl abused you. probably used you too, building respectful relationships in our teenage years is and can be traumatic for many. That is why being RESPECTFUL of where the other is truly at in himself/herself in their sexuality and personal growth is most important. Teenagers can be the mos cruelest to each other when this RESPECT is not there. Again Craig read Darlene's comment to you. You'll be fine, once you accept I was abused sexually by that not so nice female. She took advantage of me in my vunerability/sensitivity at that time and did not respect me for where I was at in myself at that time. Be open to lerning from it and move on. Certainly Darlene has given you the greatest respect for telling your story. She surely gives you great hope for your future. You are normal as any of us who was birthed male. You are special, you are you very own self that Craig is what you must acknowledge and don't be making com[arrison with other males your own age at that time or now. Look in the mirror, who is looking back at you?? It's the me you need to love, honour, value, respect, there's greatness and goodness in me. Follow Darlene's advice and you'll be on the road to recovery faster than you migh imagine. Have a healthy mind in a healthy body, get off your bootom and get out there mixing and intergrating with likeminded people your own age taking part in sporting and cultural activities. Team sports are good for you evn just to prive that you are an equal and normal male for you years. Please follow Darlene's comment. Her heartfelt and professional knowing words will help you. So will your therapist or counsellor. Live well, laugh alot, love much, I can: I will: I must because I am worth it. Always believe in yourself. be true to yourself, be honest with yourself, let go of those years and whatever real negative feeling you may still have of them. Many men were there as teenagers too, you are not on your own. Hug yourself and let those who value you and respect you for who you are now hug you too. I'll be the winner, just heed Darlene's loving/caring words of encouragement to you.

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this, I do try to balance the need for the submitter to be
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