Child Abuse Story From
This child abuse story from Tara was originally posted to my child abuse stories page on March 19, 2006.
The following child abuse story from Tara depicts sexual abuse.
The child abuse effects on Tara: self-harm in the form of "cutting" and starving herself.
My name is Tara. I am 22 years old. My childhood was not very good. My abuse started when I was three. I had an uncle whose house I slept at every weekend. This uncle used that time to sexually molest me. This went on for two years. I was never told about good touches and bad touches. In school I learned, and that is when I told on him.
We went to court, but he got away with it. Soon after, my mom, who had some mental issues of her own, started sending me to sleep at my aunt's a lot. She said I was too much to handle. She would make up stories of stuff that she said I did wrong when really I didn't. Whenever I was home she beat me.
I still remember when I was . . . I think eight years old. We were in my room and she was looking at me yelling. Suddenly she smacked me real hard in the head. I screamed, "What did I do!!!!!!" She said you called me a bitch, and I said no I didn't. She said yah but you were thinking it!!! I couldn't believe it.
She used to hit me with wire hangers. She said I was lucky 'cause her mom hit her with much worse. My mother picked on me a lot, and she never once hit my sister or brother. She had all kinds of guys in the house who took their turns molesting and raping me. I started cutting myself and starving myself. I told her that her friend raped me and she said, "Yah right. You were probably just having sex and didn't like it."
Soon I hurt myself bad and was sent in and out of mental hospitals, foster homes and youth programs. I had many of my own mental problems from the abuse. I longed to be a little girl when I wasn't. I slept on the floors huddled in a ball afraid to be abused at night. I burned myself and I would even peel back the outlet covers and rub my wrist on them till I bled, just to feel something real. I was in and out of these places from 12 years old to 16 years old.
Then one day, I got a home visit, and I met this guy whom I still am with now. I left with him and we have been together for six years now. We have a four year old and a baby on the way.
My mom still abused me till the day she died. But it turned into emotional at the end. She died a year and a half ago of heart failure. It was bittersweet. She was my mom. Most of my family never knew how she treated me. The day before she died she called me and apologized for the way I grew up. I told her I couldn't forgive her and I hung up. Those were my last words to her.
Even though I suffered so much--and trust me, I didn't write about some of it--I still love her and I miss her.
I recently told family of the abuse. I told them how I hid in the shower when she was fighting with her boyfriend. I would turn the cold water on and would wait for her to pour the hot water on me. She was sick. I wished I wasn't born.
Now there is no abuse in my life. I have taught my four year old about good and bad touches, and I am happy. I do believe a lot of my mom's issues were caused by her own mother, but I wish she could have been strong like me. I would never hurt my babies. I know what it is like to be hurt and to have my childhood stolen out from underneath me.
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