Child Abuse Story From

Child Abuse Story:

This child abuse story from Pidel was originally posted on May 19, 2006.

Pidel is from Sachsen-Anhalt, Germany

The following child abuse story from Pidel depicts the likelihood of sexual abuse.

The child abuse effects on Pidel were a panic disorder, eating disorder, panic attacks, learning problems, and suicidal thoughts.

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Child Abuse Story From Pidel:

I am 40 years old, and started therapy 3 months ago. I really don't know where to begin.

For the past ten years, I have had a panic disorder. That's why I finally started therapy. I also have an eating disorder (I weigh 260 pounds) that started when I was about 13.

I grew up in the U.S. (where I lived from 1970 until 1984) with my mother, my step-father and by brother (born 1972). It was a very frightening time, my step-father being an alcoholic, with a lot of domestic violence going on.

At the age of 17, I tried to commit suicide. At the age of 19, I left home and have never returned since then. I became a hard-ass in my teens, trying to survive without emotions. My problem is that I can't remember so many things. I don't know if I was actually sexually abused or not. I have a fantasy in which I am sexually abused by my step-father, but to me it is a mere fantasy. My therapist told me that children do not create such fantasies and that something must have happened. She also said that I have so many symptoms of abuse (eating disorder, psychosomatic complaints, headaches, running away, suicide attempt, learning problems--all starting during puberty--and then years later, anxiety and panic attacks). I just can't remember anything. I [do] remember my step-father hitting my mother and my brother, but never him hitting me. Which is also not logical. All I have is this fantasy, which I have not been able to talk about in detail in therapy yet.

I am really scared. I never thought of such an outcome when I started therapy. What if I can't remember anything--how will I ever know what has really happened? I want the truth for myself. I have to know why I am the way I am and where all of the symptoms came from that I have had for over 25 years.

Thanks for listening.


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NOTE: Information pages on this site were based on material from the
Canadian Red CrossCanadian Red Cross RespectED Training Program. Written permission was obtained to use their copyrighted material on this site.


Back to Child Abuse Effects Homepage from Child Abuse Story from Pidel

Child abuse story from Pidel was re-formatted June 8, 2015

E-book: Victim To Victory

From Victim to Victory
a memoir

How I got over the devastating effects of child abuse and moved on with my life


E-book: Victim To Victory

From Victim to Victory
a memoir

How I got over the devastating effects of child abuse and moved on with my life


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