child abuse story from Nicky was created August 1, 2006 and was originally
posted on June 21, 2006.
is from Auckland, New Zealand
following child abuse story from Nicky depicts physical abuse, emotional abuse
and sexual abuse.
The child abuse effects on Nicky: depression, eating disorders, a teen pregnancy, and suicidal thoughts.
Do you want to be heard? Share your story!
mother had me when she was 16, the result of a high school fling. She came from
a big family and soon grew tired of motherhood, so gave me to her mum to care
for. I was unwanted, the youngest of 6, and was then taken into foster care.
Eventually, at 3, I was fostered to the couple who 'raised' me. They already
had a son who was older, and another boy who they had fostered, but he wasn't
controllable enough and he left soon after.(He was the only person who played
with me!) By now, the amount of rejection and loss had impacted my life
already. I always wanted to please so that I would be loved.
adoptive mum was a very Jekyl and Hyde person. She was a happy-go-lucky school
teacher by day, and as soon as she got home, she became a lazy alcoholic. She
dominated everything in the house and basically made me serve her while her
biological son did nothing.
was around 4 till 6 years old that my dad would habitually shower me, make me spread
my legs, exposing myself to check that I was clean. Everyone in the house
around bedtime would walk naked. In the morning, my brother would pass my
bedroom with an erection. Nudity was more so on the weekends. We lived rural
and it was very isolating. We had no visitors, no extended family. Any friends
my mum had she would socialize with when out. Dad just worked and slept his
whole life. I was so so lonely. I was made to feel ungrateful for all they had
done for me, and told to tell people I was special because I was adopted.
Encouraged to drink wine with dinner from around 5 years old, I feel now that I was set up for failure. I was sexualized and beaten and given mixed messages about love. At 16, I left home and became pregnant. Soon after, I was disowned. My mum developed cancer and blamed me. She survived, but Dad died soon after. She still is in denial about what happened to me--I raise 2 kids alone. All of my 3 relationships have been extremely abusive. I don't trust people, nor have many friends. I've battled depression since I can remember, and [there's been] a lot of self-medicating and self-loathing. I've had eating disorders and suicide attempts. But my kids keep me going. I would never want them to feel like I did growing up.
NOTE: Information pages on this site were based on material from the
Canadian Red Cross RespectED Training Program. Written permission was obtained to use their copyrighted material on this site.
Child abuse story from Nicky was re-formatted June 7, 2015
From Victim to Victory
How I got over the devastating effects of child abuse and moved on with my life