Child Abuse Story From
Julie

Julie is from Dallas, Texas, USA

The following child abuse story from Julie depicts emotional child abuse and physical child abuse at the hands of her mother. Julie was also sexually abused, but she did not identify her abuser.

The child abuse effects on Julie: self-harm--she has cut her arms with a razor after physically disciplining her own daughters. Julie is unable to have friendships with other women, as she does not trust them

A lot of people believe that adoption helps kids. In a way I suppose their right. If I had been kept by my biological mother I would be dead. With my adoptive mother, I only wished I was dead.

I was placed for adoption when I was 8 months old. I was finally adopted when I was 3, by "Christian Missionaries". My adoptive father is wonderful. My adoptive mother was an evil jealous woman. I have decided after much debating in my mind, that her jealousy is what caused the abuse. I was my dad's favourite. I took too much attention away from her.

I have thousands of memories of terrible things she said to me. The one that stands out as if it was yesterday: I was 14, and she told me she wished she had never adopted me.

I remember my mother beating me in the face with a wooden spoon for breaking a glass while unloading the dishwasher. She will swear to this day that I did it on purpose.

Once, she dragged me down some stairs by my hair. My school had told her I needed my vision checked. She claimed I was faking it to get attention. My dad eventually got me glasses.

Even as I write this, I can feel her long fingernails digging into my skin, scratching my face and scalp. I can feel the burning after she slaps me across the face. And, feeling like my ears are going to be ripped off every time she would grab them and twist.

From the age of 10 to 14, I was molested. When it came out to my mom, she asked me why I didn't tell. "I didn't want to get in trouble" was my answer. I remember her looking at me funny and walking away.

I'm 30 now, but the pain lingers. I'm unable to have real relationships with other women. I have no female friends. I don't see myself like them and I don't understand or trust them.

I have two daughters, and I refuse to physically discipline them. The few times I have, the guilt has been so overwhelming, I've taken a razor to my arms.

All I want is to be able to understand why, heal myself, and share my story, so others know they are not alone. THERE IS A LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL!