This child abuse story from Jayme page was
created July 23, 2007 and was originally posted on July 13, 2007 as story #159.
Jayme is from Colorado Springs, Colorado, USA
The following child abuse story from Jayme
depicts: sexual abuse at the hands of her brother
The child abuse effects on Jayme: self-blame, guilt, shame, fear of telling and not being believed, eating disorders including anorexia and bulimia, inability to enjoy intimacy with her husband, insecurities and lack of support in her marriage, belief that she will never recover even though Jayme is now an adult
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I have suffered many years in silence. Only in the past few years have I been willing to accept the truth of my past.
When I was between the ages of 10 and 12, I was
repeatedly sexually abused by my older brother. I have felt extreme shame and
guilt my entire life. The first time was curiosity on part of both of us,
however, it developed into more. I would sleep in front of my locked door at
night in hopes just once he wouldn't pick the lock. I was too scared to tell my
mom, everything he did to me was "sibling rivalry. There are certain
places I still refuse to visit because of the memories surrounding them.
When I started Junior High, he stopped the
abuse. I am not sure what exactly made it stop, but he had new friends, etc. I
never truly repressed the truth, just tried to ignore it. I was considered the "prude"
girl throughout high school and never even had a boyfriend.
My mother passed away when I was 20 and since
then my whole life spiraled. My brother and his girlfriend were pregnant with
the first of three children, each pregnancy led to many prayers that it was a
I got married to my husband and developed insecurity beyond belief. I never enjoyed our first time together or any time since then. I wanted control and turned to food. If I could control what I ate I had some management in my life. I swung between anorexia and bulimia, hitting both high and low weights within a year. I had to shamefully admit the truth to my husband, all of it, and the support I wanted was not there. It has been six years since my mother's death, and I don't think I will ever fully recover. I have forgiven my brother but for some reason have never forgiven myself.
NOTE: Information pages on this site were based on material from the
Canadian Red Cross RespectED Training Program. Written permission was obtained to use their copyrighted material on this site.
Child abuse story from Jayme was re-formatted June 2, 2015
From Victim to Victory
How I got over the devastating effects of child abuse and moved on with my life