A Black Hole

by Tia
(Maryland, USA)

It started when I was around 13. I didn't have my mom growing up so I was always angry. Always fighting and getting into trouble. When my uncle came home from jail he started showing me attention that I never knew was possible. He used to drink and smoke real heavy. Whenever he would get like that he would change. He started touching me and I didn't know how to react. He told me I was going to be his one day and I just laughed and blamed it on the weed and beer.


When I turned 15 he started to get real persistent. I had to let him feel on me and even when I said no he would keep asking and sometimes even degrade me. I felt like since he was the only one in my corner I had to let him do these things to me. I didn't want to but I was afraid to say No.

When I turned 16 I liked how it made my body feel. I thought since my body reacted that meant I wanted it. It's like I was screaming on the inside to make it stop but I felt like I couldn't. Now I'm 17 and I'm going through the whole trial and court process and some days I can't even get out of bed. My therapist says I'm suffering from depression and PTSD. I just want to crawl inside of a Black Hole and never come out. I feel so nasty and disgusting. My therapist is helping me well but it will take much more time for me to get it out of my mind.

Sincerely,
Tia

Click here to read or post comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Write Your Child Abuse Story.

Disclaimer: To the best of my knowledge the child abuse
stories on this site are true. While I cannot guarantee
this, I do try to balance the need for the submitter to be
heard and validated with the needs of my visitors.



E-book: Victim To Victory

From Victim to Victory
a memoir

How I got over the devastating effects of child abuse and moved on with my life

Read more...

Most Recent

  1. I Self Medicate

    Jun 26, 17 04:40 PM

    When I was 3 we left Illinois for Arizona. The day we left my grandfather had a heart attack and died. I have one uncomfortable grainy memory of him. I

    Read More

  2. FREE REPLAY!

    Jun 09, 17 08:58 AM

    Join us this weekend, June 9 - 12 for the 72-hour FREE replay event Rebound With Resilience and see how you can cope, adapt and even thrive under the worst setbacks...

    Read More

  3. Ongoing Abuse

    Jun 06, 17 03:03 PM

    I'm 15/16. I am still getting abused physically, mentally and verbally by my family especially my mother. I don't understand what to do to overcome this.

    Read More