What do I do to help my child who is being abused?

by Anonymous
(Undisclosed Location)

I have a 6-year-old child, and I believe that she is being abused. Not one person is helping, and I don't know what to do. I feel that I have tried everything that I can. But the courts are still making my kids go to see their dad, and my kids don't want to go. It's has been going on for about 4 years. I'm at the end because I can't do anything to help them. I just feel like running away, and have no one know where I am. What can I do to help them make it though the hard times?

Thanks

Note from Darlene: My answer can be found below.

Email addresses, phone numbers, home addresses AND website/blog URLs in visitor comments are strictly prohibited.

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Jan 17, 2008
You are not alone...
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

I truly sympathize with your situation. The links below reflect questions and answers on this site that mirror or are similar to your situation. Perhaps you'll find them somewhat helpful.

Can anyone help my baby? and the corresponding comments

Recent allegations of child abuse and the corresponding comments

Darlene Barriere
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir

Jan 19, 2008
help
by: ros

hello is your little 6 year old telling you that things are happening if so you are able to take her to a counsellor get your little girl to tell them and they will do samething right away well here were i live they will so please try every step you can and the going dose get tough but dont give up your kids need you and they can see you are helping in every little way you can but a child is able to tale for them self these days and tell a counsellor that they are geting hurt ok take care and i will send the angels to look over you little one ros

Jun 22, 2009
hoping for help also
by: Anonymous

Sounds like many of us are in the same position. My 2 year old came home from a visit with his dad (he goes every other weekend) in what I can only describe as "terror". Dad kicked him. Dad has a history of violence which is why we divorced when my son was only 4 months old. We've gone through the DFCS investigation, private counseling, everything we can do...they say because of his age, it won't hold up in court. If we ask him questions and put it on videotape as evidence, then it's coersion. He is neglected on every visit, right now has huge blisters on his bottom from Dad not changing his diaper. Dad is also on a huge amount of prescription drugs from a recent surgery...driving my son around! We've called police (who don't make it in time to catch him), we've hired an attorney (who says since the DFCS report came back "clean" it won't hold up in court). The only thing left for me to do is to refuse to let my son go with this man at all, but then I risk having my rights taken away. What is left?

From Darlene: I'm terribly sorry you are dealing with with, Anonymous. I can't offer you anything except space here to vent your frustration at a seemingly uncaring system. However, there was one commenter some time ago who was a social worker. She advised another visitor to escalate to high levels at Social Services. Other than that, that's all I can offer.
I do wish you and your son all the best.

A Video Reading by Darlene Barriere
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir

Nov 24, 2009
ADVICE FOR ALL THE PARENTS OF ABUSED CHILDREN
by: Anonymous

Hi

I feel so sad that the system is letting a child down, after the mum asks for help, I know this is wrong but if it was my child I would take him or her and run away. Some where Some how Some one will listen and help.

God Bless you all with you little ones.

Dec 02, 2009
It should never be a question
by: Anonymous

I have tried to gain custody of my children for 10 years. He hides it well and even after their step mother physically hit my one child. NO ONE HELPED.

This should never happen and this question should not exists! I dont have an answer only deep sorrow that life is the way it is. No child deserves to go through abuse.

Dec 04, 2009
4,5,6
by: denny

my oldest is 6, the abuse has been going on since he was 3. he has been crying out for help since then.children and youth services have left he and his sister and brother down as well as the pa. state police. oh and lawyers too, shame on you all!!!!! may God have mercy on you all!!! they are innocent babies who cannot get away from the sick abuser which happens to be their mother, yes you read it right, their loving sweet innocent mother.she left in 2007 and since then began to experience what it is like to raise small children because when she lived with us, i took care of them. she worked and played around and slept. she sees them 2 days a week and still can't do it!! cys and police think i'm a joke so she says? she must have some friends in low places with a badge. make no mistake, i will not leave any stone unturned and there will be justice for my beautiful babies very soon and when that happens, i am going to collect some badges and these "so called" authorities will be looking for jobs. they are as bad if not worse than the abusive mother so they must be held accountable as well. every week, they come with new bruises and stories. does pennsylvania have different laws than other states? if so someone please tell me, i'm curious and my children and my family would like to know how to find someone who cares for children to put a stop to this abuse. especially the kids, treat it as though they were your children, i bet this wouldn't be happening would it? shame on all of you! shame on you!!! shame on YOU!!!

Mar 11, 2010
No one wants to get their hands dirty
by: Sarah

My 5 1/2 year old son has been telling me for over a year that he dont want to go back to his dads because his dads girlfriend is "mean" to him. He is very gaurded but has told me enough and a councelor enough to know that his fears are legit. I contacted my ex husband and told him, told my ex mother in law, filed reports (not just 1) with CPS, been taking him to counceling for a year, filed reports with law enforcement, got advice from law enforcement, and my attorney. All told me to not send my son back. I then found out that the girlfriend has 2 assualt charges on her record, 2 DUI's, Under age consumption, driving without a license, furnishing alcohol to an underage and other charges. So I denied visitation like I was advised by many all legal representatives and in the end I got my son taken from me because I denied visitation and the judge didnt care about the girlfriends criminal and violent history. I have also contacted my state representative for help to because CPS dont care and there is definitely wrong with the justice system. My ex doesnt even take care of our child. Grandma does (and the judge dont care) My ex moved and lied about his address and changed his phone number and I didnt have it for 6 months! and the judge didnt care. I dont know how to help but i know how you feel and can sympathize with you.

Apr 25, 2010
I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL!!!
by: Tiffany

I know how you feel, my daughter is 7 and we're going through the samething. She came home from her Dad & step mom's with bruises on her where the two of them had spanked her. I went to the ER, to DHS & contacted the Shefiff's Dept. but noone will help. It gets so frustrating when noone will help you help your child. My little girl tells me it's ok that shes use to it there is no reason for her to be use to being abused & mistreated. What do you do when noone will help you do the right thing? Do you take matters into a mothers hands & do whatever you have to do to protect your baby? I feel that if I don't protect her nobody else will!

Apr 26, 2010
crooked system
by: denny

my last comment was posted on 12 of 09 this is april and my 4,5,&6 year olds are still coming to me with bruises! there were 16 reports made to "children and youth services" and all were unfounded. believe it or not, the case worker and the abusive mother became friends. there were 2 pfa's placed on the childrens behalf, i was ordered to take my 6 year old to a forensic interview. he told this person the same thing he has been telling for 3 long yrs. his mom, grandmother, and grandfather has been hitting him with spatulas, spoons and belts."child services" sided with the mother and they took me to court and said i am coaching the children and alianating them from their mother.they sat on the stand and admitted to meeting the mother in a store and talked about making a plot to set me up. i said in my 1st comment when this is over, i was gonna have badges and name tags and i meant it. i will never stop fighting for my babies. thank you for your support. take care aand God Bless All our children.

May 19, 2010
How Horrible
by: Angry

Our child "protection" system never ceases to amaze me. A truely loving parent cannot provide proper dicipline in a public place without fear that the CPA is going to swoop down and scare the kids to death or take them away.

On the other hand, ACTUAL ABUSE like this crap is allowed to continue unchecked!


To be very honest about the specific question, I would do anything and everything to protect my child from this type of on-going abuse. If the leagal routes are not working, consider the illegal. There are men like myself who would certainly end the abuse (I'm not talking about anything drastic like killing the abuser, but I promise you I could and would put the fear of God into an abusive person like this...and leave them with the belief that I would kill them if they abused that child again). Or as somebody said she feels like running away. Well -- maybe that is the thing to do! If another state won't work, another country probably will.

Sorry, but stuff like this just makes me angry all over. What is wrong with our "justice" system that we can't protect our children from obvious abuse (blisters, coming home terrified, etc.)

Yet that same "justice" system seems quite adept at getting their noses into the lives of well balanced families with good, happy kids.

Jun 08, 2010
HORSERADISH SANDWICHES
by: Anonymous

CPS in michigan is a joke, I havent seen my kids (both girls) in 2 1/2 years, my ex refuses to bring them to visitation. Ive filed over 50 complaints with no result, the newest thing is my 10 year old was made to eat horseradish sandwiches every meal for 2 weeks,( and thats what CPS told me) both kids sleep in the laundry room, they had their beautiful hair shaved off to the skin, they are submitted to drugs and alcohol on a regular basis. The kids themselves have called CPS to get help and have even said and i quote ( if i tell please dont make me go back there ) well guess what, they are back there. With their psycho mother. who just happens to be pregnant again.( oh great, another child with a life filled with abuse ) CPS lookes at me as a disgruntled father and listens to absolutely nothing i have to say. When will this end. Ive even called other states, and attorneys, to no avail. I have photos of my 10 yr old with so many bruises on her it physically made me sick, showed them to a CPS worker and was told that the bruises were normal kid stuff. good luck to you all out there, i truly hope that one day soon your prayers are answered and the abuse stops

Jul 23, 2010
We need someone in the system who cares about our kids!!
by: Anonymous

I lost custody of my 10 year old daughter almost 3 yeats ago by leaving the state of North Dakota without permission. Her father married just before winning custody. Since then, my daughter describes sexual acts, says that her step-mother spits in her face, slaps her, pinces her cheeks, and hits her in the head with objects. She will even have her hair cut off for a punishment. I have contacted CPS 3 times to no aval! What does a mother do when her child cries and begs her not to send her back?

Aug 23, 2010
Child Abuse
by: Anonymous

My two boys are also going through the same thing. My oldest is 10 and my youngest is 7. I have reported all the incidents to CPS and so has the pediatrician, but there are no marks so they haven't done anything! He hurts them over and over again, emotionally and physically. I have no clue what else to do except not let them go and also risk getting myself in trouble for violating the custody order!

Aug 31, 2010
GRANDMA'S HEART ACHES
by: Anonymous

MY GRAND DAUGHTER IS 3YEAR OLD SHE WILL BE 4 IN NOV. I TOOK VACATION SO THAT SHE CAN STAY WITH ME FOR 10 DAYS, DURING THIS TIME SHE TOLD ME THAT SHE DIDN'T WANT TO GO HOME BECAUSE HER MOMMY AND DADDY ARE ALWAYS FIGHTING AND THE LAST FIGHT THEY WERE THROWING GLASSES AT EACH OTHER AND THEY EVEN BROKE MY CUP. I KNOW DEEP IN MY HEART THAT MY GRAND DAUGHTER IS GOING THROUGH EMOTIONAL ABUSE AND WHO KNOWS WHAT ELSE. I JUST WISH SOMEONE CAN TELL ME WHAT I CAN DO SINCE I LIVE IN NEW YORK AND THEY LIVE IN PA CHILDREN SHOULD BE ENJOYING THEIR CHILD HOOD NOT BEING ABUSE BY ANY SHAPE OR FORM. EVERY NIGHT I CRY MYSELF TO SLEEP NOT KNOWING IF SHE HAD HER THREE MEALS OR HOW SHE IS BEING TREATED.

Sep 13, 2010
You are supposed to be helping the children DHS
by: Anonymous

My daugheter is being sexually abused by her soon to be step mother. For years I have been telling my ex that my daughter doesn't like this person and is scared of her, but he thinks I am just jealous. My daughter attepmted to perform oral sex on my mom to which my mom said that is not appropriate and pushed my daughter away from her. I asked my daughter where she learned that behavior and she said someone does it to her at night at her dad's. DHS decided my claim was unfounded (basically because I am mom and I must be lieing) and if anything is reported to them again they will say that I am just trying to alienate my daughters father. more or less then I will loose my daughter because of it, so what happens when she comes home telling me that things definatly happen and I can't call, then my daughter will be mad at me for not helping. My daughter told me she has to lie because otherwise Pam will take her baby brother and her dad will be mad at her because it will be all her fault. It is so frustrating knowing your child is being hurt and no one will help you. There is just no way to convince people that there is a problem because it is too easy to ignor it and turn away. What is the point of DHS and CPS if they aren't going to actually listen? I call DHS to get their reports and they don't return my calls and won't send me any information that they themselves said they would send so that I can help my daughter not be afraid to tell other people what is happening.

Sep 21, 2010
finally caught, but didnt matter
by: Anonymous

My youngest daughter finally got so tired of being abused, she told her teacher at school. the teacher of course reported to CPS an investigation was done and my ex-wife actually admitted to the abuse. level 2 substantiated with a high risk of re-occurence. I was so happy, finally the abuse was over, BOY WAS I WRONG. CPS made her go to counseling ( good thing) but the children are still with her, and the abuse is still going on. the children told me that they wont say anything else ever again because the CPS worker repeated everything the children said to her and after the worker left they got into huge trouble. I have taped some of the things the kids say and CPS in their infinite wisdom, have accused me of manipulating the situation. I truly DO NOT understand what is going on. IF I had been accused of this abuse and found out it to be true, I WOULD BE IN JAIL. MICHIGAN does not support the MAN Parent, Michigan is a pro woman state. My 10 yr old was made to stand spread eagle in the cornor for 10 hrs a day and eat horse radish sandwiches every meal for 2 weeks, and when she would throw up, was made to eat that as well. and thats just 1 of the 15 different things that has been going on over the last 5 years. It breaks my heart everyday, My children look to me for help and dont understand why nothing is done, ive begged them to tell again, and their response is ( you dont understand what happens to us after the worker leaves ) so you tell me, what do i do. I guess the broken arm and the black eyes arent enough these days for CPS to do anything. any way, thanks for letting me vent. 1 thing for sure, I WILL NEVER GIVE UP THE FIGHT FOR MY CHILDRENS SAFETY. Good luck to you all.

Oct 22, 2010
Can I join your group.
by: Anonymous

I have a son who is six and he has to go visit with his father every weekend. His father has remarried and has a daughter with his new wife. In the spring of 2009 my son's father pretty much sold my son back to me. My son was there for a visitation and his father had to get a babysitter for him on the last day because he had to work. His father thought I should pay for it so he said the only way I could get my son was to pay him the 25 dollars that he paid the babbysitter. I contacted the police but they could not do anything because there was no court order. So I did what any mother would do and I paid him the money to get my son. After I picked up my son I drove straight to the courthouse and filed paper for parental responsibilities. I am now the custodial parent and his father has weekend visitation and joint decision making rights. That absolutley made his wife furious. Over time my son has started to hate to go over there. He cries, doesnt want to talk about what goes on over there, and he says things like my stepmom is only nice sometimes, she spanks like a volcano, and all sorts of things. I try not to play 20 questions with him because I know how it feels comming from a divorced family myself. I have raised concern to his teacher and yesterday when my son told me that his stepmother makes him hold out his arms and smacks them because he forgets to put his clothes in the dirty laundry. Obviously she has not had much experience with small boys because remembering to put their dirty close in the laundry is the last thing they think of. His father is not active in his school life and does not pitch in for school supplies, clothes, or any sports activities my son want to play. I reported it to child protective services but they are not sure if an investigation can be opened because there are no visible bruises. As a nursing student I know that they are many forms of abuse and that physical abuse can happen even if bruises are not visible. I am a single parent, full-time college student, and I do not recieve the child support I am supossed to so funds are very limited to me. I can not afford a retainer for a lawyer but it is killing me to not be able to protect my baby. Can someone please tell me what I could do if CPS does not want to open a case??? I fell so helpless and lost. My son is my life. My world revolves around him. I need to find a way to hep my child. I am open to any suggestions. Please help!

Oct 23, 2010
To the last comment...
by: Anonymous

I can offer you some help in the child support area. Here where I am in GA, you can go online, find the Office of Child Support Enforcement in your area, and fill out the requested information. They will help you get your child support from your ex husband at no cost to you. They deduct it from his paycheck and you don't even have to say anything to him about it at all.

As for the abuse, I wish I could offer more. The Dept of Family and Children services told me the same thing. Even though my son told me his dad kicks him and is angry, they won't proceed because the bruises he has "can happen from anything". Get your child's teacher involved. They legally have to report what your child tells them so at least it won't look like the jealous ex wife filing a case. God bless you and your son in this journey.

Nov 25, 2010
please listen and give advice
by: Anonymous

Well the story goes when I married my husband I already had a son. Then since we have had 2 children together. My children are now ages 12 8 6 and I have thought that ever since I had my husbands children he kinda had a thing out for my son like allways yelling at him allways grounding him ect. At first I thought it was all in my head but as time went on it just got worse his mother started treating him different allways blameing him for everything and saying he's gonna be a loser when he frows up which I must say he makes a's and b's and plays sports in his school and has already been looking into colleges. Well anyways me and my husband 6 years after marriage fight all the time and for awhile it was in front of the kids and then it got to be in front of his parents and a few times in front of my father he has called me names. I have decided I am not argueing in front of the kids anymore even though he tries I just walk away and silentlyscream behind closed doors. My oldest son can't do anything right in his eyes he calls him names like gorilla boy and even had the kids makeing fun of him to see my sons father is half black and I'm white so he is 25% black but he dosent know his real fathe and my husband was there with me when he was born so my husband is the only father he knows. The whole gorilla name calling to me is racial and my husband is racial in some ways. I am nothing like him in thay sence and I think it an insult to call my son that and my husband thinks its funny. When my son gets in trouble he makes him do like 400 jumping jacks or 500 push ups or run for hours he told me one time he had to stand in the bedroom doorway all night and that when my husband fell asleep he slid to the floor and slept there cause he was scared to go to his bed. By the way I work nights so I'm not there when this takes place. I have had to get between my husband and him one day I don't know what happend but I heard my son say leave me alone I'm not gonna take it no more ill hit you back I'm tired of it and my husband which is 6 foot 3 250 pound went chargeing toward him and if looks could kill my son would be dead. I jumped in and yelled stop they stoped but ill never forget the look in my husbads eyes just pure hate. Now lately all my kids don't like being there alone with him my daughter says she wishes we would divorse she's only 6 and says that someone please help. I have no friends no life outside of work and no support system

Dec 21, 2010
bruises and rashes
by: Billy

It seems a lot of us are having similar problems. FOr the past few months my son has been telling me that his mom has spanked him, slapped him in the face, kicked him, and left him alone. He is almost 5 years old. This post is a request for info and help, as well as my experiences that hopefully help somehow.
In May of 2010 I reported bruising on his lower back to the police because he told me and my family that it was from his mom. I also took my son to the doctor and my son told her the same thing. The Doctor reported to CPS, not the police, they just sat on the case. Since my sons mother claims she didnt hit him and my son had a couple of storied for the bruises, the case was closed. But with the stipulation that I was to call the police imediately if the bruises came up again unexplained.
Well it is December, we're going through a custody case where the mediator already was siding with my son staying with me, and the bruises are back. The cop that reported said that my son didnt indicate where these bruises came from, so the case is being closed as unfounded. The cop said we would be refered to MDIC (multi-disciplinary interview center). Well that never happened and it took me calling them before the case was looked at. After a week I got a call from the responding officer saying he was going to conduct the follow up interview instead of CPS or MDIC.

My son is telling me that he told the police officer that his mom spanks him, the cop is saying my son didnt make that claim. CPS wont respond because the officer is saying my son didnt tell him anything, and MDIC only accepts CPS and PD refferals.

On top of this my son has come over to my house with numerous rashers, one of which I had to take him to the urgent care hours after I got him because he was in so much pain. Turns out it turned into a yeast infection because it was so bad. The police will do nothing, CPS will do nothing. Why? Because we're already in court they wont protect my son, they wont believe him, they wont do anything.

Any way to make this stop?


Jan 07, 2011
Corrupt County
by: Molly

I have 2 children ages 4 and 6. My ex and I have been divorced for over 3 years now and I have since remarried. I have been keeping a journal and documenting certain events as they occur. I have suspected child abuse for a awhile now and have been trying to gather proof of this before going to CPS or law enforcement. Since May of 2010 after I got remarried more frequent things have been popping up and my 4 year old son has been coming home with unusual bruises and marks. I have taken pictures of 2/4 of them. The other 2 I couldn't get a good picture of them because they were already starting to fade and go away. My 6 year daughter says my ex's mother is wiping her butt (he lives with her) and when she gets UTI's that grandma puts "sav" on her til it feels good; she told me she likes it when grandma touches her....The bruising with my son started last October and I have called CPS 4 times. The kept changing their stories telling me first that I had to have admission from the kids that something was going on and also had to have traumatic injuries such as a broken bone with a medical report. The last time my son came home with fingerprint bruising on his left shoulder I took to our family doctor and he referred us to the child advocacy for child abuse center. They in turn called in a child abuse and neglect case to CPS. Still CPS refused to do anything. I also called the police and all they did was make a report and send it off to CPS, this was after my son admitted that his dad was hitting him. For 2 months we have been trying to get something figures out. Because my ex's mom indirectly works for them they won't do anything, they finally decided that there was a "conflict of interest" and referred us to a neighboring county. They claim that after reviewing everything that the report from child advocacy was substantial enough to open a case but if my son came home with another mark THEN they would investigate....granted this is what my county is telling me that the other county said....I don't believe that. I feel like no one wants to help or do the right thing...they are going to just let my kids keep getting hurt! HELP! I don't know where to go from here.

Jan 12, 2011
sister being abused by boyfriend
by: Anonymous

can a 3 yr old baby be taken away from her mother that is being abused and stays with him even after being beaten??? i dnt think its right for a baby to be around that and don't know what to do??

Jan 24, 2011
i dont no wat comment title meens
by: ktb

what help can i get when the police and the child protection dont do anything to help you when your child is being abused

Feb 13, 2011
i under stand this fully
by: Anonymous

I have been though this too. My children not 11 years or so on will not see there Dad. He has stopped to. We divorced 10 years ago before this day. But he was hurting me doing things to my daughter hurting is step son my oldest. And padlocked my oldestin a room. I was given full custody of the children because of dought. No one be lived me because they thort I was making it up.

And through the visits he still did it for years and got away with it when I did eventually bring the police in to it I could not cope and became mentally ill. And now all the lies my ex told is coming out in my CRB check that no evidence was found and later it says that there was no proof one way or another but it sticks with me. My daughter is opening up now and he as stopped visits himself I have kinda ran away I moved hundreds of miles away. He stopped me throw the courts and in the end I was allowed to move if I kept visits up. As he tried to take them away but the courts allowed me to keep them. My daughter will not even talk to him on the phone. He arrases us both by text and calls. And I can not stand for it so I am going to take the ole mater further it is sick. Its like he is still wanting to play mind games with me and including the children in it all I will take it further for the children so they feel they will be believed all 3 of them the oldest now being 23.

Mar 02, 2011
Someone PLEASE help me :(
by: Anonymous

I live in a town close to Zahra Baker. Zahra was a child murdered by her abusive father and step mother. Zahra's story is very much like all of ours. This is why I'm begging for help. I am scared for my children. No one will help. My 13 yr old came to me with finger bruises on his face and nail marks dug deeply into his arm. I am still going to court over this. The D.A. keeps asking if I want to drop the case, CPS told me they found it to be an isolated incident, and all while my ex husband tells me this is how they discipline and its none of my business. I'm sorry.. WHEN IS IT MY BUSINESS?! When it's MY son that is dead and gone? When it's MY child that is laying in a hospital bed with broken bones? When will someone do something?! This is so crazy! Please our children are the most precious things to us to our future. Please someone help me.. help us all.

Mar 03, 2011
chidabuse
by: Anonymous

do not talk to your child in great length keep them away from the abuser if you no who it is. sometimes i no this that if it is a husband like in my case it is hard to prove the courts every one seems to be against it or do not believe you. special if there is not full sex and just touching. i no it is not fare but keep trying. i asked my 11 year old after all these years as she says not that she wants help and does not see the abuser. talk to the school and see what tey can offer she did it on her own back and now she gets all the help needed and my contact case is closed. your child has rights and do not stop till they are heard in cases when you feel no one belives you and they think you and the child are making it all up. this kind of thing needs changing and i do not no how either but been there. and becase of all the aligations i made with the police it is on my CRB check that i may have lied about things and i was geting abused by him to. it is horrible but i eventaly found a solistor that will take the case on. do not give up on your child and believe them.

May 18, 2011
the system helps the bad guys
by: Anonymous

my two step kids are being neglected by there mom and i have called cps a dozen times. and she keeps getting away with it! its so sad cause the kids are the ones suffering!

May 19, 2011
children need to be listened to more....
by: worried mum

one of my children is now in hospital because of al this self harming and attention seeking i wish some one will help but it looks like they will now why not when they first disclose it it would stop later problems arising if they had the right help at the time and help them threw the whole thing mine is 12 it is not right people should listen to kids even if the adults are going threw custody or contact orders the children need to be heard not the parents it is a very unfair system. i am very hurt and angry against people that suppose to put the best interest for the child first. even i no better than them when it is true. it as to stop children have rights to when it comes to visits with dads if the children refuses or do not want to go who ever finds out why and it is a danger to the children some one needs to lesson to the child as a matter of urgency.

Oct 15, 2011
no justice
by: julie

my 5 and 6 year olds have recently told me that they were abused sexually by their half sister who is 16 and was 14 when it all started. they went for eval and being that it is not occurring at this moment in their lives and happened in the past almost 2 yrs ago CYS in our county in PA said they believe my daughter was assaulted and not sure if my son is telling the truth even with the explicit detail of my children and said thats it case closed they are not credible witnesses per our wonderful children youth services here in pennsylvania. please what do i do they want to not go to their fathers no more and are still subjected to see the person that hurt them just seeing her face makes them nervous but nobody wants to help not CYS, the police, or the DA's office what do i do PLEASE HELP . not for nothing i was sexually abused as a child and kept it to myself, my marriage i was forced to be degraded by my husband for over 4 yrs and i will be damned if im gonna let my little babies have the emotional roller coaster like i live

Nov 03, 2011
any advise??
by: Anonymous

My 7 year old informed me this past week, his step mother has slapped him in the face and has threatened to slap him in the face on several occasions. I believe slapping a child in the face is inapropriate discipline... and I would go as far as to say child abuse! I don't know what action to take. This happened three weeks ago, but my son just told me about it. and I don't have any pictures or anything that I can show to prove this. I know if I call Dss there will be an investigation and it will end up being his word against his stepmothers and I don't want him to loose faith in the people that should keep him safe. She is not even suppose to be left alone with him, due to other problems that aren't this serious. My ex-husband himself has told me numerous times that she antaganizes my son when ever he is there. My son says he does want to see his dad, but does not want to see her. This weekend is his scheduled weekend to go to his dads and he has said all week he doesn't want to go. His dad is a hot head and I'm not sure if he will see where I'm coming from.. And see it is his wifes fault our son doesn't want to come over there. My son ask if I am going to "send him over there to get hurt again".. what do I say to that? Any advise??

Dec 05, 2011
I am 11 years old this happened in Kentucky
by: Anonymous

Well, I'm 11 years old. My dad phisacally abuses my brother and sister. In march my dad slammed my brother on the steps and scratched his neck. While i wasin the room. I didn't know that every day for years my sister would come in my room and turn up the music rlly loud and play with me so i couldnt hear my brother screaming. But in 7th grade my sister started to get abused to.. She couldn't hide it from me because she was a door away. The screams and cries for help will never be forgotten. Of course my idiot dad won't admitt that he did any of it. And CPS nd the courts said tht we have to do therapy and the therapist will tell the courts if my dad is "stable" enough to handle children. We have said over and over again that we don't want to live with him but it doesn't seem to matter. I'm ending up living with him again and afraid that one day if i do something wrong he might hurt me to:(

Dec 06, 2011
re courts and the parent who as the childre i am a mother
by: Anonymous

some of these so called profectials have no idea my childre are now 10 and 12 and they do not see there dad as they refuse all together and you can not forse your children out the door. it is silly when they say that we are stoping visits if we can not get then out the door i never gone to prison and my children tell teachers the same they will not go becse he as abused them all the way throw since i left my ex. the main reason for the courts still alowing them to go is the way the sysmtem respons to us as parents they think we are not alowing are ex parters or husbands becase we do not want to they never see that the children do not want to and theyn they put the presure on us they need to look in to all this a lot more and get a balace to child abuse and devorse and realy look in to it realy. not say we have put the words in there mouths that is not fair. we no it is the children and we only no are children are telling the truth in amecrica there is the underground i do not no how to access it but there is nothing in the uk!!! they still find us we have a problem in uk.

Jan 27, 2012
My 6 year old nephew is being abused by his mom but no one will do anything about it.
by: Anonymous

I am concerned about my 6 yr old nephew since he 2 my family and I started noticing sings of abuse and neglect. Such as very severe diaper rashes, not being bathed, bruises(hand mars and finger marks), big cuts or gashes. We have taken pictures judges brush them off cys went out to the house but that was pointless because her mother knew people who worked for cys so they gave her a heads up. He is going to be 6 yrs old in less then a week and he talks about the things she does to him but he is so affraid of her that he wont tell other then our family what she does, he says he does not want his mom to go to jail. What 6 year old knows that if he told her punishment would be jail? He is so starved for attention he will get it any where he can. She only has him for the weekends and in a weekend he comes up with bruises, cuts, night terrors I can not take seeing my nephew go through this if she is still doing it she will never stop. when her friends ask him how he got that cut or bruise she tells them it was from falling off his bike and any other excuse she can come up with. I know kids can get hurt on there own but almost every time he comes back he has some type of injury. She needs help and he needs to be where he is safe, I dont want to being going to my 6yr old nephew's funeral. What should I do, what can I do?

Feb 12, 2012
Help my friend
by: Anonymous

My friend has three boys and they live with there father
He has them and he lied and lied to the police about her
And the boys are being abused bye there dad everyday
And bye the girlfriend worst
We have pictures and the boys don't want to go
But the court and police just laugh
What can she and I do
I want to help her she is a great mother

Feb 18, 2012
seems to be no help for my babies
by: Anonymous

If you live here in New Castle PA, the system here is not for children by all means. My little children disclosed sexual abuse by their half-sister and I am being told that yes they know something happened to my children but they cannot be put on the stand due to they will be torn apart by defense attorneys...give me a flippin brake!!!! This happened to them over 2 yrs ago and they are just coming forward with it now so obviously they were scared to tell and now they wonder why nobody is believing them or helping them besides me. And children and youth services here should be shut down they suck!!!!!!!!!!!

Feb 22, 2012
Children Supposed to be Our Future
by: Anonymous

First of all I would like to say it is not always the dad who abuse the children. My grandson will soon be turning three and he is being abused by his mother and her live in boytoy. They call it discipilining ,I call it abuse when you whip a two year old with a belt and leave marks. Or the child step on glass and no one gets it out. A child suppose to run to his mother when he hears her voice not hide under a bed. The system that was designed to protect children only put them in harms way. The children is just a number or a paycheck to DFCS and if you can't afford legal help oh well. Tell me who will help me save our future?

Mar 11, 2012
Desperate Measures
by: Anonymous

Step 1 : Child starts war for you (tells counciler)
Step 2 : You find out, and become a "concerned parent"
Step 3 : Child takes off screaming for help, and calls 911 on the abuser in a public place.
Step 4 : You become a parent taking action, and take'em to the cleaners with everything you got !!

This will have one of 2 results :

A, child will re-evaluated to go into the care of the next parent, (you, if you are worthy).
or
B. They will be taken out of the home and placed somewhere else. Either works in your favor, because you can from then on, work on getting them home to you .

People who write on here either :
A. aren't making enough, or the right kind of waves in the pool.
or
B. Don't know how to make big enough waves.

Want fast results? Get the child to do what I said. Run out the house with a cell phone, or go to a public place crying, and for people to help, and call 911 on the abuser. Then sit back and watch the fire works, and start taking some serious action as a concerned parent through the proper channels.
DOnt listen to anyone saying this sh*t dont work, bc my best friend had CPS all up in his house, and damn near lost his kids all bc his 9 year old said something about weed to one of his friends at school, and a teacher heard it. ANd that was in Flint, Michigan!

Mar 20, 2012
I have a five year old step daughter
by: Anonymous

My husband and I are almost doing threw the courts for almost a year. My step daughter came home June of last year with hand mark , switch makes and un none marks butt! And let's just say her butt was black! We called the cops and they called dhs and November the 15 they gave her vistashons( every other weeked and the Wednesday after she got her) and my x lawyer went to court not say anything when my husband's ex wife was lying say she didn't know where we lived, our #'s and didn't know where the child was. Well march the 5th we got her back with hand marks on her butt and bruises on her arms, inner leg near her girl parts and around her neck and switch marks on her legs. And she said her step father was so called checking her and she said he was rubbing her and her mother was holding her down. And no bodie is doing any thing! And the so called garden that is boost to be helping her says we ain't got a cause! And no body has been arrested! Where is the law and how can we help her! And what can we do to get her away?

May 27, 2012
child abuse
by: james kobe

i have a 4 year old daughter who lives with her mom ive been trying to get custody because her mom hits her, a couple weeks ago my little girl had a black eye and told me her mom punched her, i went to child welfare for probly the 20th time about different marks and bruises that she tells me her mom did cuz she was mad, they still refuse to help or talk to my daughter about these things, ive taken pictures and even brought her into welfare but to them im jst trying to cause my poor ex problems.... Im only trying to protect my kid, today she has a cigarette burn on the inside of her leg jst below her pirvate parts, she tells me mom did it with a smoke but doesnt wanna talk about it, to all parents that are in this type of situation im sorry your children have to go through this crap and keep trying, keep going to welfare and court and take pictures and video if the child will tell you what happened, sooner or later someone will listen

Jun 10, 2012
help my 3 year old son
by: liva

i have a son and for two years his father been beating on him he comes home everyweek with black eyes bruises all over his face and body and straches everywhere and the court and dhs or cop and special vitems unit has done nothing and my son told everyone what has happened to him after the first time i went threw LL THIS I started to teach my son evrybody part and to let me know who hits him so that that everytime it happens i will know and even though he spoken to everyone and everyone saw him in person and witness the marks all over him they continue to tell me thst untill someone come up with enough evidence i have to continue following the order its a shame that i have to take my baby to the er every sunday and have pictures tooken and then sit in a court house ahowing the er report that he had spinal and neck swellon they still told me theres nothing for them to do untill my court date comes up and when my court date came up i find out the jugde didnt come to work and my case was resceldule well i havent took my son back to his fathers for three weeks now and i have court tomorrow im prepared for the worst because i spoke to a lawyer and they said they understand the fact that i was protecting my child but that the judge can throw mein jail for vilating a court order this is messed up all i want is for someone to see that my son is being really hurt and do something about it before its to late my son is my only child hes my baby hes the reason i live and the reason i am so strong if i end up having to barring my baby ima die it hurts just to write this hes only three years old he should not have to be feeling pain he is sappose to be happy and worry free without i amd weak i am dead he deserves justice for what his father has done to him the courts and cops and dhs and everyone else needs to step the hell up and help protect our babies from harm.

Apr 19, 2013
worried mum
by: Anonymous

hello I need some help my son who is only 4yrs old lives with his dad who everyday abuser my son, my son is under social services, and there have been reports of what the father does, im am talking about sexual abuse, hitting my son, swering ect, reports fromm police and reports from profestionals, ect, my son was removed from on the grounds that I am a disable mother the father was removed on the grounds that he wanted to kill me rather than later,i am not understanding why they won't give me back my son, this was suppose to be a temporoy situation, the father smokes weed and drinks,and has a temper, and no patients,what do I do to safeguard my child when no one is listening to me or my child I am a worried mother

Jun 28, 2013
my son is beening abouse by x wife step dad
by: Anonymous

my son has reported to me his papa g is abousing him i took this to child service his mother told him not to tell or she would never see him again and he didnt tell they closed case and she is still taking him back there the doctor says he has been aboused but she still gets by with the court please help me to help my son

Aug 08, 2013
Same Boat
by: Dan

I'm in the same boat with my 3 year old daughter. Bruises, broken nose, rashes, leaving the child alone at home, Leaving her in a shopping cart at work, and having online sex with her sugar daddy in Toronto with the child in the room. All of it documented. Audio of the child crying out that she's afraid of mommy. NJ DYFS won't even get together with me to review the evidence nor have they followed up with the doctor or any of the witnesses. She says that she was a victim of domestic violence and that I'm complaining in response. So they simply walk away from the investigation at that point. We were in front of 2 judges who dismissed all of her charges of domestic violence. Her charges were that I criminally harassed her by locking her out of the house. Yep, I did lock the door in an effort to talk with her without getting hit, pushed, and shoved around by her. I even had a police officer come out to watch the child's behavior when I returned her to her mother. The child repeatedly stated that she did not want to go with mommy and attempted to run away from her mom 3 times in front of him. The child eventually went with her mom after being told that there were friends waiting inside for her and the officer finally telling her that she had to go with her mom. He refused to write a simple report stating what he observed because as he said, he had no idea why the child was acting the way she was. I may not even be able to get the poor kid into counseling because we have joint custody and her mom has the right to refuse. The psychologist office has told me even if I do get her into counseling, they will not report any details to Child Protective Services at that point. They did however threaten to report me for not immediately reporting the last incident and that the kid was now saying that she was afraid of her mother. The last time that I picked her up, she has scrapes on her ankles from the pavement. I've witnessed her mother yanking her off of her feet and dragging her forward because she wasn't walking fast enough for her. When I asked the child how she got her boo-boo, she told me "Mommy will get in trouble." Where do you turn for help?

Feb 04, 2014
stop child abuse
by: Anonymous

i really cant believe all this its so sad to read and even go through it myself. Child abuse is scary and sad, my baby is so innocent and doesnt deserve this!!! hes a good baby what the hell doe he have to be hurt in any way!!! Where is everyone i wonder like 10 people live at his dads house!! Dads family...mom, dad, sister, nephw, wife, cousin and aunt it makes me sick !! How can anyone hurt another person or child or ababy so sad... Believe in the Lord ..

Apr 11, 2014
It's NOt Always the DAD that is GUILTY!
by: Anonymous

Granted, most of the time this is true, even when I was a victim as a child and my own mother ended up taking his side and I had to keep it a secret for year.....But reality has hit me in the face as of the past 3 years.....Mothers....can do the same thing, and because it is rare, they put on tears and sad innocent faces, and get away with false charges....Where is the help for the innocent fathers in this...Oh and by the way, I am a Woman....not a man.
Cps is one of the offenders if you ask me...There is NO Justice for the child, nor the family of the father trying to help him keep his child safe...Even judges are guilty of the pre instilled idea that it has to be true if the mom is saying it! BAH!!!!

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