What do I do to help my child who is being abused?

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What do I do to help my child who is being abused?

by Anonymous
(Undisclosed Location)

I have a 6-year-old child, and I believe that she is being abused. Not one person is helping, and I don't know what to do. I feel that I have tried everything that I can. But the courts are still making my kids go to see their dad, and my kids don't want to go. It's has been going on for about 4 years. I'm at the end because I can't do anything to help them. I just feel like running away, and have no one know where I am. What can I do to help them make it though the hard times?

Thanks

Note from Darlene: My answer can be found below.

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What do I do to help my child who is being abused?

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Jan 17, 2008

You are not alone...
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

I truly sympathize with your situation. The links below reflect questions and answers on this site that mirror or are similar to your situation. Perhaps you'll find them somewhat helpful.

Can anyone help my baby? and the corresponding comments

Recent allegations of child abuse and the corresponding comments

Darlene Barriere
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir

Jan 19, 2008

help
by: ros

hello is your little 6 year old telling you that things are happening if so you are able to take her to a counsellor get your little girl to tell them and they will do samething right away well here were i live they will so please try every step you can and the going dose get tough but dont give up your kids need you and they can see you are helping in every little way you can but a child is able to tale for them self these days and tell a counsellor that they are geting hurt ok take care and i will send the angels to look over you little one ros

Jun 22, 2009

hoping for help also
by: Anonymous

Sounds like many of us are in the same position. My 2 year old came home from a visit with his dad (he goes every other weekend) in what I can only describe as "terror". Dad kicked him. Dad has a history of violence which is why we divorced when my son was only 4 months old. We've gone through the DFCS investigation, private counseling, everything we can do...they say because of his age, it won't hold up in court. If we ask him questions and put it on videotape as evidence, then it's coersion. He is neglected on every visit, right now has huge blisters on his bottom from Dad not changing his diaper. Dad is also on a huge amount of prescription drugs from a recent surgery...driving my son around! We've called police (who don't make it in time to catch him), we've hired an attorney (who says since the DFCS report came back "clean" it won't hold up in court). The only thing left for me to do is to refuse to let my son go with this man at all, but then I risk having my rights taken away. What is left?

From Darlene: I'm terribly sorry you are dealing with with, Anonymous. I can't offer you anything except space here to vent your frustration at a seemingly uncaring system. However, there was one commenter some time ago who was a social worker. She advised another visitor to escalate to high levels at Social Services. Other than that, that's all I can offer.
I do wish you and your son all the best.

Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir

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Jun 22, 2009
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Submitted by: Anonymous

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Sounds like many of us are in the same position. My 2 year old came home from a visit with his dad (he goes every other weekend) in what I can only describe as "terror". Dad kicked him. Dad has a history of violence which is why we divorced when my son was only 4 months old. We've gone through the DFCS investigation, private counseling, everything we can do...they say because of his age, it won't hold up in court. If we ask him questions and put it on videotape as evidence, then it's coersion. He is neglected on every visit, right now has huge blisters on his bottom from Dad not changing his diaper. Dad is also on a huge amount of prescription drugs from a recent surgery...driving my son around! We've called police (who don't make it in time to catch him), we've hired an attorney (who says since the DFCS report came back "clean" it won't hold up in court). The only thing left for me to do is to refuse to let my son go with this man at all, but then I risk having my rights taken away. What is left? From Darlene: I'm terribly sorry you are dealing with with, Anonymous. I can't offer you anything except space here to vent your frustration at a seemingly uncaring system. However, there was one commenter some time ago who was a social worker. She advised another visitor to escalate to high levels at Social Services. Other than that, that's all I can offer. I do wish you and your son all the best. <a href="http://www.child-abuse-effects.com/my-story-of-abuse.html#videoreading"><img src="http://www.child-abuse-effects.com/images/Chapter12MrWhitakerSnap2.jpg" border="0" title="A Video Reading by Darlene Barriere" alt="A Video Reading by Darlene Barriere" align="left" hspace=5 vspace=5></a> Darlene Barriere Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator Author: <a href="http://www.child-abuse-effects.com/my-story-of-abuse.html" title="On My Own Terms, A Memoir">On My Own Terms, A Memoir</a>

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Nov 24, 2009

ADVICE FOR ALL THE PARENTS OF ABUSED CHILDREN
by: Anonymous

Hi

I feel so sad that the system is letting a child down, after the mum asks for help, I know this is wrong but if it was my child I would take him or her and run away. Some where Some how Some one will listen and help.

God Bless you all with you little ones.

Dec 02, 2009

It should never be a question
by: Anonymous

I have tried to gain custody of my children for 10 years. He hides it well and even after their step mother physically hit my one child. NO ONE HELPED.

This should never happen and this question should not exists! I dont have an answer only deep sorrow that life is the way it is. No child deserves to go through abuse.

Dec 04, 2009

4,5,6
by: denny

my oldest is 6, the abuse has been going on since he was 3. he has been crying out for help since then.children and youth services have left he and his sister and brother down as well as the pa. state police. oh and lawyers too, shame on you all!!!!! may God have mercy on you all!!! they are innocent babies who cannot get away from the sick abuser which happens to be their mother, yes you read it right, their loving sweet innocent mother.she left in 2007 and since then began to experience what it is like to raise small children because when she lived with us, i took care of them. she worked and played around and slept. she sees them 2 days a week and still can't do it!! cys and police think i'm a joke so she says? she must have some friends in low places with a badge. make no mistake, i will not leave any stone unturned and there will be justice for my beautiful babies very soon and when that happens, i am going to collect some badges and these "so called" authorities will be looking for jobs. they are as bad if not worse than the abusive mother so they must be held accountable as well. every week, they come with new bruises and stories. does pennsylvania have different laws than other states? if so someone please tell me, i'm curious and my children and my family would like to know how to find someone who cares for children to put a stop to this abuse. especially the kids, treat it as though they were your children, i bet this wouldn't be happening would it? shame on all of you! shame on you!!! shame on YOU!!!

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Dec 04, 2009
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Submitted by: denny

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my oldest is 6, the abuse has been going on since he was 3. he has been crying out for help since then.children and youth services have left he and his sister and brother down as well as the pa. state police. oh and lawyers too, shame on you all!!!!! may God have mercy on you all!!! they are innocent babies who cannot get away from the sick abuser which happens to be their mother, yes you read it right, their loving sweet innocent mother.she left in 2007 and since then began to experience what it is like to raise small children because when she lived with us, i took care of them. she worked and played around and slept. she sees them 2 days a week and still can't do it!! cys and police think i'm a joke so she says? she must have some friends in low places with a badge. make no mistake, i will not leave any stone unturned and there will be justice for my beautiful babies very soon and when that happens, i am going to collect some badges and these "so called" authorities will be looking for jobs. they are as bad if not worse than the abusive mother so they must be held accountable as well. every week, they come with new bruises and stories. does pennsylvania have different laws than other states? if so someone please tell me, i'm curious and my children and my family would like to know how to find someone who cares for children to put a stop to this abuse. especially the kids, treat it as though they were your children, i bet this wouldn't be happening would it? shame on all of you! shame on you!!! shame on YOU!!!

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Mar 11, 2010

No one wants to get their hands dirty
by: Sarah

My 5 1/2 year old son has been telling me for over a year that he dont want to go back to his dads because his dads girlfriend is "mean" to him. He is very gaurded but has told me enough and a councelor enough to know that his fears are legit. I contacted my ex husband and told him, told my ex mother in law, filed reports (not just 1) with CPS, been taking him to counceling for a year, filed reports with law enforcement, got advice from law enforcement, and my attorney. All told me to not send my son back. I then found out that the girlfriend has 2 assualt charges on her record, 2 DUI's, Under age consumption, driving without a license, furnishing alcohol to an underage and other charges. So I denied visitation like I was advised by many all legal representatives and in the end I got my son taken from me because I denied visitation and the judge didnt care about the girlfriends criminal and violent history. I have also contacted my state representative for help to because CPS dont care and there is definitely wrong with the justice system. My ex doesnt even take care of our child. Grandma does (and the judge dont care) My ex moved and lied about his address and changed his phone number and I didnt have it for 6 months! and the judge didnt care. I dont know how to help but i know how you feel and can sympathize with you.

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Mar 11, 2010
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Submitted by: Sarah

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My 5 1/2 year old son has been telling me for over a year that he dont want to go back to his dads because his dads girlfriend is "mean" to him. He is very gaurded but has told me enough and a councelor enough to know that his fears are legit. I contacted my ex husband and told him, told my ex mother in law, filed reports (not just 1) with CPS, been taking him to counceling for a year, filed reports with law enforcement, got advice from law enforcement, and my attorney. All told me to not send my son back. I then found out that the girlfriend has 2 assualt charges on her record, 2 DUI's, Under age consumption, driving without a license, furnishing alcohol to an underage and other charges. So I denied visitation like I was advised by many all legal representatives and in the end I got my son taken from me because I denied visitation and the judge didnt care about the girlfriends criminal and violent history. I have also contacted my state representative for help to because CPS dont care and there is definitely wrong with the justice system. My ex doesnt even take care of our child. Grandma does (and the judge dont care) My ex moved and lied about his address and changed his phone number and I didnt have it for 6 months! and the judge didnt care. I dont know how to help but i know how you feel and can sympathize with you.

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Apr 25, 2010

I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL!!!
by: Tiffany

I know how you feel, my daughter is 7 and we're going through the samething. She came home from her Dad & step mom's with bruises on her where the two of them had spanked her. I went to the ER, to DHS & contacted the Shefiff's Dept. but noone will help. It gets so frustrating when noone will help you help your child. My little girl tells me it's ok that shes use to it there is no reason for her to be use to being abused & mistreated. What do you do when noone will help you do the right thing? Do you take matters into a mothers hands & do whatever you have to do to protect your baby? I feel that if I don't protect her nobody else will!

Apr 26, 2010

crooked system
by: denny

my last comment was posted on 12 of 09 this is april and my 4,5,&6 year olds are still coming to me with bruises! there were 16 reports made to "children and youth services" and all were unfounded. believe it or not, the case worker and the abusive mother became friends. there were 2 pfa's placed on the childrens behalf, i was ordered to take my 6 year old to a forensic interview. he told this person the same thing he has been telling for 3 long yrs. his mom, grandmother, and grandfather has been hitting him with spatulas, spoons and belts."child services" sided with the mother and they took me to court and said i am coaching the children and alianating them from their mother.they sat on the stand and admitted to meeting the mother in a store and talked about making a plot to set me up. i said in my 1st comment when this is over, i was gonna have badges and name tags and i meant it. i will never stop fighting for my babies. thank you for your support. take care aand God Bless All our children.

May 19, 2010

How Horrible
by: Angry

Our child "protection" system never ceases to amaze me. A truely loving parent cannot provide proper dicipline in a public place without fear that the CPA is going to swoop down and scare the kids to death or take them away.

On the other hand, ACTUAL ABUSE like this crap is allowed to continue unchecked!

To be very honest about the specific question, I would do anything and everything to protect my child from this type of on-going abuse. If the leagal routes are not working, consider the illegal. There are men like myself who would certainly end the abuse (I'm not talking about anything drastic like killing the abuser, but I promise you I could and would put the fear of God into an abusive person like this...and leave them with the belief that I would kill them if they abused that child again). Or as somebody said she feels like running away. Well -- maybe that is the thing to do! If another state won't work, another country probably will.

Sorry, but stuff like this just makes me angry all over. What is wrong with our "justice" system that we can't protect our children from obvious abuse (blisters, coming home terrified, etc.)

Yet that same "justice" system seems quite adept at getting their noses into the lives of well balanced families with good, happy kids.

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May 19, 2010
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Submitted by: Angry

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Our child "protection" system never ceases to amaze me. A truely loving parent cannot provide proper dicipline in a public place without fear that the CPA is going to swoop down and scare the kids to death or take them away. On the other hand, ACTUAL ABUSE like this crap is allowed to continue unchecked! To be very honest about the specific question, I would do anything and everything to protect my child from this type of on-going abuse. If the leagal routes are not working, consider the illegal. There are men like myself who would certainly end the abuse (I'm not talking about anything drastic like killing the abuser, but I promise you I could and would put the fear of God into an abusive person like this...and leave them with the belief that I would kill them if they abused that child again). Or as somebody said she feels like running away. Well -- maybe that is the thing to do! If another state won't work, another country probably will. Sorry, but stuff like this just makes me angry all over. What is wrong with our "justice" system that we can't protect our children from obvious abuse (blisters, coming home terrified, etc.) Yet that same "justice" system seems quite adept at getting their noses into the lives of well balanced families with good, happy kids.

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Jun 08, 2010

HORSERADISH SANDWICHES
by: Anonymous

CPS in michigan is a joke, I havent seen my kids (both girls) in 2 1/2 years, my ex refuses to bring them to visitation. Ive filed over 50 complaints with no result, the newest thing is my 10 year old was made to eat horseradish sandwiches every meal for 2 weeks,( and thats what CPS told me) both kids sleep in the laundry room, they had their beautiful hair shaved off to the skin, they are submitted to drugs and alcohol on a regular basis. The kids themselves have called CPS to get help and have even said and i quote ( if i tell please dont make me go back there ) well guess what, they are back there. With their psycho mother. who just happens to be pregnant again.( oh great, another child with a life filled with abuse ) CPS lookes at me as a disgruntled father and listens to absolutely nothing i have to say. When will this end. Ive even called other states, and attorneys, to no avail. I have photos of my 10 yr old with so many bruises on her it physically made me sick, showed them to a CPS worker and was told that the bruises were normal kid stuff. good luck to you all out there, i truly hope that one day soon your prayers are answered and the abuse stops

Jul 23, 2010

We need someone in the system who cares about our kids!!
by: Anonymous

I lost custody of my 10 year old daughter almost 3 yeats ago by leaving the state of North Dakota without permission. Her father married just before winning custody. Since then, my daughter describes sexual acts, says that her step-mother spits in her face, slaps her, pinces her cheeks, and hits her in the head with objects. She will even have her hair cut off for a punishment. I have contacted CPS 3 times to no aval! What does a mother do when her child cries and begs her not to send her back?

Aug 23, 2010

Child Abuse
by: Anonymous

My two boys are also going through the same thing. My oldest is 10 and my youngest is 7. I have reported all the incidents to CPS and so has the pediatrician, but there are no marks so they haven't done anything! He hurts them over and over again, emotionally and physically. I have no clue what else to do except not let them go and also risk getting myself in trouble for violating the custody order!

Aug 31, 2010

GRANDMA'S HEART ACHES
by: Anonymous

MY GRAND DAUGHTER IS 3YEAR OLD SHE WILL BE 4 IN NOV. I TOOK VACATION SO THAT SHE CAN STAY WITH ME FOR 10 DAYS, DURING THIS TIME SHE TOLD ME THAT SHE DIDN'T WANT TO GO HOME BECAUSE HER MOMMY AND DADDY ARE ALWAYS FIGHTING AND THE LAST FIGHT THEY WERE THROWING GLASSES AT EACH OTHER AND THEY EVEN BROKE MY CUP. I KNOW DEEP IN MY HEART THAT MY GRAND DAUGHTER IS GOING THROUGH EMOTIONAL ABUSE AND WHO KNOWS WHAT ELSE. I JUST WISH SOMEONE CAN TELL ME WHAT I CAN DO SINCE I LIVE IN NEW YORK AND THEY LIVE IN PA CHILDREN SHOULD BE ENJOYING THEIR CHILD HOOD NOT BEING ABUSE BY ANY SHAPE OR FORM. EVERY NIGHT I CRY MYSELF TO SLEEP NOT KNOWING IF SHE HAD HER THREE MEALS OR HOW SHE IS BEING TREATED.

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What do I do to help my child who is being abused?

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What do I do to help my child who is being abused?