Response to my abuser

by Name Undisclosed
(Florida, USA)

I was molested from the age of 10 to about 16. It was continuous, and after a while, it became part of my life. Until recently, I had suppressed all my feelings. But I'm now 21, and I have reached a point in my life where I must make my voice heard. Below is my response to the man I once called "daddy".


Do you know what you did to me?

Don't pretend that you are confused you know exactly what I'm talking about.

I was your child....
How could you hurt me?

Do you remember?

I remember everything....
I knew what was happening...

I lost my innocence in that first moment....
I was so scared and frightened...
I remember shivering and feeling sad and confused...
You made a promise after the first time never to do it again....
But it was a lie because you did it again and again...you stole what little I had....you left my heart in pain....my mind a boggle....my body damaged....

Do you know the many nights I cried myself to sleep...
The nights I stayed awake because I anticipated your arrival....
The days I spent worrying and stressing about what you had done to me....

I was alone and had no one to talk to....
I suffered for years...
Trapped in silence...
The only way to survive was to pretend that it wasn't really happening....

But I'm not pretending anymore....
I know what you did....I feel the effects....
But I will not let it rule my life anymore....

It happened and I will speak up about it....
I'm no longer a prisoner...
I'm only a victim as long as I stay silent...

It happened and I have taken control of it...
This has made me a stronger person....

What you did was horrible...
It's no longer hidden in the darkness...
So now I'm finally able to move on....
I feel that I can finally live.....

~Survivor of child sexual abuse~

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Mar 12, 2008
From a place of strength...
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

From your heart. From your strength. What just about every child sexual abuse survivor feels, perfectly stated. Thank you for sharing with my visitors and me. I'm honoured that you chose this site to publish your thoughts and feelings. And I sincerely hope that you will indeed find peace in your life. You certainly deserve it.

Darlene Barriere
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir

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