Relationship Violence Story From Shanelle

by Shanelle
(Location Undisclosed)

I am 16 and have been with my boyfriend now for 8 months. I live with him in our own house. Im going to give some background information to maybe why we are like this. When he was a child he never knew his father and his mother was hard into drugs so he lived with his grandma. She was a wicked woman and beat him everyday of his life. He told me she even hung him from a tree by his neck infront of his family and they all laughed. And for me growing up i was poor, and molested a few times. My mom divorced my dad when i was 8 and imediatly started dating a guy who always used to beat her so for the past 9 years of my life i have been in and out of womans shelters but my mom always went back to him, i am proud to say just recently she has left him and found a good man. But back to me and my boyfriend, our relationship started out good, he was hard into drugs and me hard into drinking though. we both have quit, but he started to get very jelous. i am a soical butterfly and had tons of friends but i find myself not having one in the world now. The abuse started when we would drink together, he wouldnt let me leave. And it has escalated to big amounts, hes held me down with knives to my throat, hit me, choked me out ALOT i think thats his favorite move. He threatens to kill me almost every day of my life. I talk to no one. but dont get me wrong i hit him too. I am sharing this because today things were aweful. He checked my facebook and i said hello to a "guy" friend of mine. he freaked out and started yelling and then choked me out then smashed everything in the house. I wonder if its cuz his child hood he acts like this and cuz of mine i think its ok.

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Comments for Relationship Violence Story From Shanelle

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Oct 15, 2011
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

Most definitely, your pasts will be a contributing factor to the violence in your relationship, as well as both your ability to make healthy choices for yourselves. But two things: One, your pasts don't predispose you to relationship violence. And two, the reasons why right now are not as critical as realizing that you are in a highly volatile and dangerous relationship. He WILL escalate further, the violence WILL increase in intensity, he WILL seriously harm you or worse. You must get out. You've been isolated from your friends, which is a huge red flag. Reconnect with your friends because they are your support system. Reach out in the community for resources that are available to you. You're already very familiar with the women's shelter program, so reach out for the services they offer. Don't try to do this alone. Take a lesson from your mother's choices, and make sure you don't make those same choices and mistakes: Don't go back to him. And for goodness sake, stop hitting him. Stop playing into the violence. It will get you seriously injured, or even killed.

You didn't say where you live, so I can't offer a hotline to connect to, but a women's shelter can help with that. Please contact them. Your life depends on it, and you're too worthy to continue to put up with being mistreated and violated. You're worthy of dignity and respect and love. Start by treating your Self with that dignity, respect and love by getting the help you so desperately need. Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Darlene Barriere
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir

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Disclaimer: To the best of my knowledge the child abuse
stories on this site are true. While I cannot guarantee
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