Relationship Violence Story From Lauren1

by Lauren
(Pennsylvania, USA)

My relationship at 16 started off great, everything in the world was right, and he was a great guy who treated me right. We hang out together whenever possible. He showed me how much he cared, by being there, saying he loved me, and making me happy. But then as our first year of dating passed things began to change. He began flirting with other girls, telling me that I caused all his problems, saying I was ugly and that other girls were better looking. But still saying I love you and I care for you!! By the time I was 17 years old, I was so in love with this guy, I thought that we would grow old together.

The start of my senior year of high school, we began to grow apart, but I still loved him and he said he loved me. By Christmas time of that year, he was getting in trouble so much that his parents grounded him from seeing me. One day before Christmas, he told me that he had better things in his life besides me. He told me it was over, and I was devastated. I went to work that night in tears, fighting to not break down. I returned from work and had 10 messages on my cell phone from him. Apologizing for making the biggest mistake in his life. We ended up figuring it out that night. We were back together the next day. Things were really good for a while after that. Then the New Year came and that's where things really fell apart.

I felt like I needed to be with him, but everytime we were together, if something went wrong, it was my fault. I was his personal punching bag...he emotionally scared me for the rest of my life. He yelled at me constantly, it was always my fault. I would give up my freedom and privileges for him. I'd break the rules and the laws for him not because I wanted to, but because it was a demand. I started getting tired of his demands and began crying every night not knowing who to talk to. Anytime I talked to anyone about the way he was treating me or how things were going, and get yelled at later for not keeping our relationship a secret. He told me talking to other people meant I didn't trust him or love him, but I did, I just needed advice from friends. Sometimes those friends accidently slipped my secrets to him...and hell would break loose in my car. He would threaten to end the relationship if I talked to anyone else about it.

About two weeks before my Senior life took a turn for the worst. His parents had forbidden him to have any contact with me as a punishment for failing grades. The day I purchased my Prom tickets at school, he said he didn't think we'd be together by Prom. He started telling me that I wasn't good enough, that he didn't want me anymore. That day I hit rock bottom...I ended up in a rehab center with mental disorders that I had been struggling with for the past three years. I thought that was the end of my one cared, no one loved me, not even him. I was in for almost a week, then the day after I got out I broke things off with him.

Because I had fallen in love with him, breaking things off was really difficult. He was furious, which made school hard, we had classes together, and we still saw each other all the time. We did still go to Prom together, but it wasn't the night I had dreamed of. That was our last official night together for the rest of my life. According to my parents I was never to talk to him or see him again. I graduated high school a couple weeks after Prom. I thought that the feelings would leave quickly, but they didn't. I was okay for a few months, but did suffer from numerous mental disorders, some caused from the relationship. Then, I came home from a great vacation with family and friends and decided to go visit him.

I drove to his house and we got into a really heated argument. I became extremely pissed at him for hurting me so much, and then I became physical out of anger. He allowed the fight to continue and then he threatened to get me arrested and I got scared and stopped. He told me he called my parents and they were on there way. He said he would call the police and have them escort me to a jail or a mental hospital, because I needed help. The only reason I needed help was because of the emotional damage that he caused me. I ended up back in rehab, but coming out this time was on my 18th birthday!! Things changed after that, for the better.

I'm now 18 years old, and in control of my own life. I have a huge family that supports me every step of the way. I'm finally starting college in less than a month and I'm super excited. I'm over him now, but every once in a while, a memory comes back, sometimes its ok and sometimes its not. But overall from the experiences I went through I learned one thing. Friends and boyfriends come and go, but your family is always there!! I plan on getting through college and living a happy life. But I will always watch for abusive signs in men...I'll always be on the look out the rest of my life. I haven't been with anyone, since I was with him, but I don't NEED a man to make me happy, I just need life in itself and I need to be happy alone, first.

Darlene Barriere: author. speaker. survivor. coachNote from Darlene: I welcome you to follow me on my Facebook page at Healing from Child Abuse. When you get there, don't forget to click onto the Become a Fan link. I hope to hear from you there!

Email addresses, phone numbers, home addresses AND website/blog URLs in submissions and visitor comments are STRICTLY prohibited. Please don't include them, as they will be removed.

Comments for Relationship Violence Story From Lauren1

Click here to add your own comments

Dec 17, 2009
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

So glad that you have your family to lean on, and that you are going to college soon. You've got a terrific attitude about what happened to you and where you're going in your life. You are an inspiration. Perhaps one day we'll meet when I'm doing a talk on dating violence. Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

Darlene Barriere: author. speaker. survivor. coach.
Darlene Barriere
author. speaker. survivor. coach
Talk Before Touching® Series

Dec 18, 2009
by: Anonymous

Your story is really inspirational nd I really like the way your taking up. especially when you ai dont need a man to keep me happy. So true happiness is within its just not given and it can only be spread. So glad you have a supportive family. Dont be afraid to fall in love once again. Its just that there are people who use the name of love to abuse others. Unfortunately you have become the victim. You are still 18 and you have a very lovely life ahead. You are an angel and there will be a person who will realize that. Just dont be stubborn to accept thinkin that he is jus like your previous bf. Have a happy career ahead and all the best!!!

Click here to add your own comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Write Your Relationship Violence Story - Talk Before Touching®.

Disclaimer: To the best of my knowledge the child abuse
stories on this site are true. While I cannot guarantee
this, I do try to balance the need for the submitter to be
heard and validated with the needs of my visitors.

Most Recent

  1. Feel Extreme Guilt

    Apr 25, 17 08:19 AM

    I had been repressing the guilt of playing sexual games and forcing my cousin brother to tongue kissing with me. I am 24 now but keep remembering the same

    Read More

  2. Not To Blame

    Apr 18, 17 11:04 AM

    I was in my 10th standard and like every girl, I was very conscious of the weight problem. I used to go to my Music tuitions in the evening, and once I

    Read More

  3. Bad Dreams Surfacing

    Apr 13, 17 10:32 AM

    I am having a dream about my abusive stepfather where he wants my brother and me to change his soiled diaper. He started abusing me at the age of three

    Read More

Take the quiz

Fill out my online form.
HTML Forms powered by Wufoo.
E-book: Victim To Victory

From Victim to Victory
a memoir

How I got over the devastating effects of child abuse and moved on with my life