Painful work

by Hayley
(Birmingham, UK)

I'm back again, I must be like the proverbial buses, you don't hear from me for ages, then I'm back again in quick successive posts!

This isn't so much about the abuse from my brother, more work place related. When I was recovering from my road accident I had great difficulties in reintegrating into the workplace environment. This was pounced upon by rather unscrupulous bosses, and I suffered from severe bullying. One place in particular was a Care home called Willow Grange. It's a care home for the elderly, should be a residential home but catered for people that had nursing needs as well. I would go in for my shifts and slog my guts out, would get the most demanding residents to assist in the morning, and would be expected to work on my own, which was totally immoral for the sake of the residents. My only agenda was to give those people the care that they deserved, but with me getting edgy because the other staff were able to get their tasks done really quick, mainly because they had residents that were easy to deal with and didn't have quite such complex needs, and also because they were allowed to get on with their work without being interrupted to take a resident to the toilet, when there were other carers in the lounge who could do that job. It made my job of giving the residents the time and care they deserved very difficult, nigh on impossible.

One member of staff in particular could see just what this was doing to me, that and being told that I was too slow, or didn't work hard enough, and had a bad attitude. (Though much as I loathe to admit it, I probably did then, as I was so frustrated with the way that I was constantly being treated by my peers). The partner of this particular member of staff was a patient on the ward that I work on and I found out yesterday that his partner is still my now ex colleague, and she had - in my mind - poisoned him against me.

This and other little things culminated in me breaking down in floods of tears, which thankfully I managed to hide from the patients. Having spent much of my working life after my accident getting mobbed by bullies, I found myself getting mobbed again, but by a completely different group of people. People who cared that I was hurting and wanted to know what exactly had happened. I told them the sordid account, having sobbed that I thought all "this" was in the past, thinking I had successfully put it all behind me. Thankfully I was allowed to sit in the staff room, and calm down, even talk to a poor student at whom I had snapped, rather unfairly.

Today my boss was informed, and to a degree, the mobbing continued, the patient removed from the ward and transferred to another one in the same unit of the hospital, and my ward manager, and two of the nurses who had been on duty yesterday keeping me updated.

I never thought I would have the confidence to ask for help, never believed I was good enough to get help, or be helped. Spending years having to "just accept it" had left me angry and frustrated which did nothing for my image. Now with the help of one particular colleague at work, who once told me I shouldn't worry about what people think of me, and one of my hockey coaches who told me to be the bigger person, (not that I achieved that with any resounding success yesterday when provoked somewhat cruelly by a ward domestic) and don't answer back. My attitude to the patient who made the request that I didn't care for him, was fine, as you wish, but don't think I will blank you, because you are still a patient on this ward, and you will still get the same respect that the other men in your bay will get. I apologised to the poor student that I snapped at, and myself and the domestic are back on bantering terms. What a shame the housekeeper is treating me with contempt, though it is rather amusing to see her make a complete idiot of herself when she ignores me when I say "Hi" to her!