Memories I Never Had
by Jennifer Bell-Lang
Self Portrait
Ok, thanks for the support and here goes with the rest of this. So I rescued this boy, my neighbor from this abuse but what happens next is what hurts me the most. Well I dropped the pipe and ran home screaming. I ran to my apartment and ran upstairs and under the bed and threatened to put a fork in the electrical outlet but my mom called the ambulance in time and I remember them looking at me from under the bed and I remember going out to the ambulance with them with a stuffed animal in my arms. I was hospitalized for what seemed like forever at the time in a children's hospital. I was put in the padded room a few times when I was having really bad screaming fits, they had a swimming pool and an arts and crafts room. I remember drawing with puffy paint pens on t-shirt fabric, I liked colors, they made me feel more comfortable. I remember a lot of different kids there of all colors and I was well liked. We would go on hikes in the woods and I remember walking in the leaves in the woods. It had to have been fall, closer to halloween, it was getting cold and when I arrived there it was still warm. My mom came to visit one weekend and brought me a plate full of cookies which I wasn't supposed to have in my room. I was supposed to turn them in but I was being spiteful and hid them under some of my clothes in my closet. Well, one of the nurses came in and found them and took them away. I finally went home and I went to visit the boy. He had sisters and a brother and they brought me into their apartment and I saw the boy sitting on the sofa with his head all wrapped up in white. There were cartoons on in the background and I was put upon my knees and begun to suck his penis. His mother came in through the door on my left and found me like that. I was then brought up into the bedrooms where I was stripped naked and photographed with others. The mother kept calling me a British tart and when it was over I remember getting the chills in the doorway as it shut behind me almost instantly trying to block out what had just happened. They had told the boy that he had hit a pipe sledding down a hill but it was his father and my uncle that did that to him. When I dropped the pipe and ran home they had come out screaming at me and picked up the pipe and beat the boy in the head giving him 194 stitches. I was blamed for dropping the pipe and my worst memory is that I will go back in time and pick up the pipe, look into the glass at the scene, look back at the pipe and remember what I am going through at this very moment and I will just walk away without even trying to help. What would you do?
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