Kicked Slapped Denigrated

by Jo
(UK)

I live in the UK and was born in '73. My mother was an alcoholic, and my sister and I were taken into care. We lived in children's homes and foster placements until we went to live with an upper middle class couple, who adopted us.

I first remember being spanked at about age 3. I was learning to read, and had my book and was sitting at the breakfast bar saying, EM..P..T, without saying the word correctly. She told me to read it properly and began shouting. He came in and started yelling. He said he would count to 10, and by the time he got to 10 if I did not say the word correctly he would spank me. I could not read it and became terrified. With every number he got to he banged his hand on the table. He got to 10 and I was ordered upstairs to remove my knickers for a spanking. He only used his hand but my bum was very sore. He did it all the time after that. For things I could not help, like if I did not know the answer to something, or if we played too loudly, if I accidentally broke something, or sometimes for no reason.

He would kick us and slap us across the head. She would tell me I was thick, stupid, the thick one in family, that my hair was awful (I have very curly dark hair, quite ethnic) and she made me have it very short like a boy so I was teased at school, even the teachers said it was too short.

It felt as if they hated me. They humiliated me and bullied me and my little sister. It just felt like abuse. I recently reported this to the police. We have no more contact with them. They left us scarred for life.

Having read the stories on here, it makes me think I was lucky. We had bruises sometimes, but no broken bones. We were not scalded or punched. I feel like I should drop the charges. But I still feel like I was abused. It really messed my life up. I have had mental health problems all my life, as had my sister. I don't know what to do.