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Indecent exposure - result of child molestation?

by Chelsie
(USA)

My boyfriend of three years just went to jail for indecent exposure. I was shocked and confused. He has never shown any type of behavior like this.

After I bailed him out, I repeatedly asked him why?

His father molested his older sister and I've always wondered if he was too.

He broke down in tears and told me he was molested. However, not by his father. By a stranger. While walking home from school when he was 13 years old, a man in a car offered him a ride home. My boyfriend thought it was strange but got in the car. The man asked him if he watched porn, and my boyfriend said yes. Then the man started touching him. My boyfriend was scared and couldn't move. After a while my boyfriend yelled and the man told him to get out of the car. Then, my boyfriend's male cousin, would get him to play with his penis. And around the same time, his father was molesting his sister.

He has never told anyone.

I told him we would get him into counselling.

Can him exposing himself to others be a result of abuse?

I am also worried about him killing himself...please help me!

Note from Darlene: My answer to this Ask Darlene question "Indecent exposure - result of child molestation?" can be found below.

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Indecent exposure - result of child molestation?

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Mar 10, 2008
 Indecent exposure
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

Although I cannot say for certain that your boyfriend indecently exposed himself as a result of abuse he suffered and/or witnessed, what I can say is that abuse victims can exhibit a host of signs. As a child, he had no power. As an adult, he does.

Regardless of the reasons, you can't be making excuses for him. Your boyfriend is now an adult, and as such, he must know that exposing himself to another is wrong and unlawful. He needs help, so it's good that you suggested counselling for him. I can only hope that he actually attends.

Chelsie, I do not offer any relationship advice. What I will tell you, in the words of Dr. Phil: The best predictor of future behaviour is past behaviour. If you decide to stay with this man, go into it with your eyes wide open. I recommend counselling for you too. A counsellor may be able to help you unravel some of the emotions you are now dealing with.

I wish you and your boyfriend all the best.

Darlene Barriere
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir

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