I am Angry and then I'm Sad

by Linda Settles
(Rustburg, VA)

I am angry...
When I read letters--words torn from the hearts of victims who are still bogged down in the muck and mire of an abuser's depravity, I feel anger rise inside me--anger at the monster of abuse -- that three headed dragon who treads upon the heart and soul of innocent children without remorse--justifying, excusing, and denying at the expense of the wounded child who has no strength to strike back.

If only the child was like a snake
the rattler variety whose bite brought death
If he -- like venomous plants that grow
In jungles dark and dense
Could wrap himself around the beast who takes away his chance
At life unblemished by his shame who draws him into dance,
Lustful dragons breathing fire, disguised with human face
If only the child could end the dance, striking like a snake.

Then I am sad.
Many abusers were once the victimized child. Others are addicted to sex and have medicated their own wounds with pornography and lewd fantasies, becoming more deeply entrenched in lust as the days go by. It is well known to those who deal with death, homicide detectives and law enforcement officers, that pornography like drug addiction, requires ever more of its lethal substance to satisfy. Child molestation is but a stop down the road for many sex addicts. They want to quit, but they wait too long and they go too far.

There may be many other reasons that sex offenders abuse, but I no longer want to put them into a permanent sleep, when I realize that they are to be pitied. Their deformity of spirit hounds many of them all the way to Hell.

Is there hope for the sex offender, the abuser of children, the rapist, the porn addict who molests if only in his mind?

There is hope--if there is repentance. If there is grievous sorrow for the offense and submission to correction--whether it be jail, house arrest, recovery programs, and/or loss of relationship with those affected by his crimes. There is hope--but the cost is high--and few who choose to abuse are willing to pay the price.