Comments for Flashbacks of Sexual Abuse

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May 28, 2015
Emily:
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

What this cousin of yours did was NOT your fault. It will NEVER be your fault. Period. End. Of. Story. HE made the decision to molest you. Think about it for a minute. You were six. SIX! You were young and vulnerable and afraid. I doubt very much that you would blame a 6-year-old child for the sexual abuse she suffered, so why would you blame yourself. The next time you see a 6-year-old, take a good look. Notice how small that child is. Notice how innocent that child is. Notice how vulnerable that child is. There is a reason that 6-year-olds don't look after themselves. I know you know that on a logical level, but you're trapped on an emotional level. An emotional level that is applying adult more mature values to what happened and what you perceive to be your part in it all. You gave a multitude of reasons for not telling, all of them legit. And one that you didn't mention is the #1 reason sexual abuse victims don't tell: they are afraid they won't be believed. It wouldn't surprise me that that entered your mind as well.

So you must stop blaming yourself. You must stop carrying all the terrible shame. Shame and blame that aren't yours to carry. The shame and blame falls squarely on the shoulders of the abuser.

There are people you can talk to. Consider contacting Child Help at 1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453) in order to talk to someone about the effects of what happened to you. They are staffed 24/7 with professionally trained counsellors who will listen to you. They are not a reporting agency, although they can help you through the process of reporting if you decide to disclose. Visit their website by copying & pasting the following URL into your browser: https://www.childhelp.org/hotline/

You've been very brave sharing your story here...and that's an excellent first step. Take the next step, Emily. Contact the number and/or site of Childhelp. It's one of the most loving things you can do for yourself. And right now, you need that kind of loving attention.

Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me. I send you love, light and healing energy.

From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir

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this, I do try to balance the need for the submitter to be
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