Emotional Abuse Part 2

by Hayley
(Birmingham)

I had to finish rather abruptly this morning as I got called away. Thankfully it wasn't an emergency. I have read the comments I received from the start of this post and they made me feel damn good.

Back to the emaotioanl abuse thing. When my brother starts to call me the things he does it appears to me that my parents agree with him, after all, they never tell him to leave me alone, nothing actually gets said until I say anything. It is a no win situation or so it feels, if I try to defend myself I get trouble, if I don't say anything, then I will be praised for letting him say the nasty things he does to me. When ever I try to talk, I get talked over as though I am not there. Apparently I don't go up North to see my beautiful niece because I can't be bothered, and don't care about her. In reality I love her to bits so when my parents go up, I ask them to phone me so I can talk to her. It's brilliant, and I love talking to her. I secretly believe she talks more sense than my brother, but that's a different story!

Apparently I just have to accept being talked over as though I am not there, or being treated like dirt. It makes me wonder if they actually do give a damn about me when they do that. It's as though I'm there for my brother's convenience, and nothing more. I'm not allowed to say anytthing, and even if I was I would be wasting my breath. He is the one who gets to talk and I have no rights to stand up for myself, and I just have to accept it.

While I am sorry for the little boy who was so mercilessly killed by three sick sadistic adults in Haringay, North London, a part of me is pleased he was killed. At least he will not have to deal with the consequences of those people's actions later in life. He is at peace, and will find out what dignity is. He's not in pain now so in a strange way, even with his paralysis, he is looking down on that scum and laughing his head off at them. Fair play Baby P, go for it, you're a pint sized hereo, and a tough little guy. Rest in peace sweet heart

I think that's about it now. I'm so tired and feel terrible. I just got called a whimp by a friend, and asked why I'm at a library when I should be resting. I'm only out because I have to be!

I'd better go now, and thanks Darlene for those words, I managed a massive grin even though I'm not exactly in the land of living!