"Does My Bum Look Big In This?"

by Elaine Ellis
(Lancashire, UK)

Don't laugh! The above is me - all dressed up and ready to go out! Meal with hubby, or girls' night... can't quite remember...

Anyway, there's a reason for posting this pic; and for the title of my piece. I'll get to it, in my usual roundabout way!

How old would you say I look in the photo? 18? 25? 28? 30? 35 plus? Younger? Or older? Can't really tell?

Do the clothes that I'm wearing influence your response? Or the way I've done my hair? Perhaps my make-up? Or my pose?

Now to the nitty-gritty. I said there was a point to this! You see, I'll bet that many readers weren't entirely certain as to my age. AND I'll bet that many responses were influenced by my appearance. You see, I'm reckoning that most people assume certain things when they see a female dressed in a certain way. And for want of better words, that certain way of dressing is what I'd call "glammed up", or "in the glad rags", even "tarted up" or "sexy".

I'll accept the fact that most (if not all!) women want to look good when they go out. They want to look good full stop! But when did looking good come to mean dressing in a specific manner?

There are, generally accepted, two genders - male, and female. It is a fact that there are biological, hormonal, physical, and other, differences between these two genders. That cannot be denied. But, then things become a little more difficult. There are also suggestions that there are clear emotional, intellectual and behavioural differences between males and females, and that these, too, can be attributed to specifically biological, hormonal or physical factors. However, this I have to question...

Bowlby (1969,'73,'80) discussed in his "Attachment Theory" the influence that strong parental, familial and peer bonds had on human personal development. He went on to suggest that antisocial behaviour could be influenced by ones personal attachments. Mead (1934) wrote about the process of socialization, in which the genesis of the self is interpreted as being one and the same event as the discovery of society. Thus, what I am trying to suggest, is that human behaviour is also influenced by society. Through our associations with others, we are encouraged, and "trained" to behave in a certain manner.

So why is it that current society appears so obsessed with encouraging the female gender to behave in a manner that is, to me at least, so questionable? Let me give you an example...

Imagine a class at Primary School (Infant or Elementary School, for those more familiar with such terms). The children, aged about 7 or 8, are to have a Christmas Party. It is to include party games, and a "Disco". So far, nothing unusual, you might think. Well, hold that thought! Ever questioned the suitability of a "Disco", which is essentially an adult phenomenon (after all, there are no Night Clubs that I know of specifically for pre-pubescents!), for little children?

The kids turn up... Now, who would ever think of sending their 7 year old son to a School party dressed in tight leather trousers, "muscle vest" and biker jacket? What?! You'd think me ridiculous even to suggest it! No... the boys will be wearing jeans and t-shirt, sweatsuits, or footie shirts. They will talk about their favourite car, about food, toys, computer games, their favourite football player, or T.V. programme. I don't doubt for one minute that some of this talk may verge upon inappropriate subjects - for example explicit music videos and/or lyrics, or perhaps violence in video games. But I suspect that not a fraction of it will be as unacceptably over-sexualised as...

The girls... They turn up for the party (aged 7 or 8, remember!) in cropped tops, glittery high heels, sequinned hotpants, frilly miniskirts, fishnets, hair piled high and faces caked in makeup. They giggle and flirt, and make eyes at the boys. They chatter about their favourite popstar, and about how they want to be "WAGs" or Glamour Models when they grow up. They simper knowingly, comparing each-other's outfits, and likening them to "Jordan", Kylie, Beyonce, or Cheryl Cole.

WHY? These are LITTLE GIRLS that we are talking about. They should be chatting about ponies, and dolls, and LITTLE GIRL things. They should be in age-appropriate clothing.

What is going on? Are our high streets, and our Governments, misguidedly sanctioning this covert form of child abuse? Why are we so blatantly and ridiculously over-sexualising the female gender? Why start it so young?

Look about yourselves. Clothing stores selling women's, and more disturbingly, girl's outfits are full to bursting with teeny-tiny hotpants, short skirts, boob-tubes and other sexy garb. Shoe shops sell high heels for pre-pubescents. "Anne Summers", and other flirty underwear shops trade openly on the high street. Bras and skimpy knicker sets can be purchased pretty much anywhere, again some of these being aged at girls who are not yet even teenagers. Makeup is widely sold for, and used on, Primary School aged girls.

Little girls, sometimes even toddlers, have pierced ears, painted nails, and permed hair. It's BIZARRE!

Worse still, music videos and song lyrics openly exploit female sexuality. Hardly a popstar nowadays goes by without using the gimmick of scantily clad women dancing about to sell albums. Manufactured bands proliferate - stereotyped "hunks" and "bimbos", the women squeezed into microscopic outfits, shoehorned into tiny clothes that would barely fit a 10 year old, let alone an adult woman. Singing is a "talent" they rarely posess - the only "talent" these women seem to require is euphemistic in nature!

"Lads' Mags" have steadilty promoted the rise of the Glamour Model, and of celebrity pinups. Again, most of these would appear to be stereotypical "bimbos", valued not for their intellect, or personality, or academic achievement - or, in fact, anything worthwhile at all. They are valued only for their looks; and a very specific look, at that. Generally blonde, big (fake) breasted, pouting and covered in fake tan. Think demented, pneumatic "Benny Hill"-styled girls!

Ditto "WAGs". These are little other than glorified celebrity "gold diggers". Perma-tanned, fake breasted, fake hairpieced, botoxed and liposculpted; they want little more in life than to "bag" themselves a celebrity hubby. Preferably a rich (but probably gullible!) footballer, racing driver, cricketer, rugby player... They want to live in luxury, doing little other than shopping all day. They want to live OFF a man!

What about fashion models? Yet again, I have little positive to say. They seem generally to be pitifully anorexic, fake tanned, and artificially preserved. In an industry where one is paid for one's looks, I suspect most fall for the lure of cosmetic surgery.

Films are full of sexualised female imagery... Look at "Lara Croft", for example, in "Tomb Raider", or films like "Pretty Woman", or "Legally Blonde". Television series have for years cashed in on the over-sexualisation of the female. From "Buffy The Vampire Slayer" to "Desperate Housewives" via "Sex And The City", ALL such series have often reduced female characters to little other than stereotypes. They have frequently used stereotypical attributes to make their female characters more "screen friendly". Again, we see the busty blonde, the predatory "man eater", the "cougar", the sexy naughty schoolgirl... STEREOTYPES! ALL OF THEM!

The Media and our Governments ought to know better. They are promoting a society in which women - the very same gender who fought so long and hard as Suffragettes to gain rights - are again second-rate citizens valued for little other than their "decorative qualities". Images of what females "ought" to look like are so forced down our throats, that little girls as young as 7 or 8 are suffering Anorexia Nervosa. Bullying in Schools is often fueled by competitions between girls, fighting over the best outfit, or for boys' attention. More and more females are opting for the "cop out" of cosmetic surgery. Even my own sister-in-law (a large woman, I will admit) decided to bypass healthy eating and exercise, and had a Gastric Band instead. Several years on, despite all the pain of surgery that she endured, she is still a big lady (at least size 18) and now suffers digestive problems. Was it worth it?

And that's what I ask. Is it worth it? Is our over-sexualised image of the "perfect" woman worth pain, Anorexia Nervosa and other eating disorders, cosmetic surgery and all the risks that carries, dodgy internet diet pills (that sometimes contain Amphetamine), depression, self-hatred and possibly suicide? Is it worth little girls endangered by paedophiles, who think nothing of the age of a female in a short skirt? Is it worth spiralling teenage pregnancy, and sexually transmitted diseases?

If you were the person who, like me, stated that you would not be happy to send your 7 year old son to the Primary School party in tight trousers and a "muscle vest"; then surely you too ask why are little girls of the same age dressed up so inappropriately?

Society's treatment of women amounts to little more than abuse. And where that female is a minor, then this must be CHILD ABUSE.