Could I have been sexually abused as a child?

Jun 07, 2008

I cannot give you a yes or no reply...
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

Amandalynne, there is a possibility that you were sexually abused as a child, but there's no way for me to say with any degree of certainty. A therapist is in the best position to help you with that.

What I can tell you is that there is another explanation: Children who have inadvertently witnessed their parents in a sexual act—and many children do—can re-enact what they saw with their toys. It doesn't mean they were sexually abused. Nor does it mean that they are irreparably harmed by what they saw. Regarding any long term effects; much depends on the way parents and other adults in the child's life deal with what the child was doing. If the child was punished, the wrong messages can be sent and leave the child fearful. If the child was calmly taught the inappropriateness of playing in such a way with toys and other children, and further taught about "good touches" and "bad touches" etc., that can temper the effects, and encourage the child's healthy sexual development. But this topic can easily take up volumes of information, and as such, is beyond the limitations set out for these comments.

I can also say that it is natural for children of the same age and same developmental stage to be "curious" about one another. It is not unusual for those children to further innocently explore that curiosity. It can be difficult to determine the difference between this type of "childhood curiosity" and of what is termed "sexually intrusive children." The latter term generally refers to sexualized children who are exhibiting learned behaviour as a result of being sexually abused.

Amandalynne, I replied to a query yesterday that I believe applies to your situation and question. Please see the post by "A" on this site titled Very confused about whether or not I was abused? and my subsequent comment beneath that post. Another comment I made on Jan. 25, 2008 titled A coping mechanism... deals with the issue of repressed memories for the question No memory of childhood: Is this common?

I cannot speak to your fear of men, because there are too many variables; one of which could be from possibly having witnessed a sexual act between adults when you were a child. Again, Amandalynne, a therapist would be the professional to consult regarding your fears and suspicions.

Darlene Barriere
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir

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Jun 07, 2008
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Submitted by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

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Amandalynne, there is a possibility that you were sexually abused as a child, but there's no way for me to say with any degree of certainty. A therapist is in the best position to help you with that. What I can tell you is that there is another explanation: Children who have inadvertently witnessed their parents in a sexual act—and many children do—can re-enact what they saw with their toys. It doesn't mean they were sexually abused. Nor does it mean that they are irreparably harmed by what they saw. Regarding any long term effects; much depends on the way parents and other adults in the child's life deal with what the child was doing. If the child was punished, the wrong messages can be sent and leave the child fearful. If the child was calmly taught the inappropriateness of playing in such a way with toys and other children, and further taught about "good touches" and "bad touches" etc., that can temper the effects, and encourage the child's healthy sexual development. But this topic can easily take up volumes of information, and as such, is beyond the limitations set out for these comments. I can also say that it is natural for children of the same age and same developmental stage to be "curious" about one another. It is not unusual for those children to further innocently explore that curiosity. It can be difficult to determine the difference between this type of "childhood curiosity" and of what is termed "sexually intrusive children." The latter term generally refers to sexualized children who are exhibiting learned behaviour as a result of being sexually abused. Amandalynne, I replied to a query yesterday that I believe applies to your situation and question. Please see the post by "A" on this site titled <a href="http://www.child-abuse-effects.com/very-confused-about-whether-or-not-i-was-abused.html">Very confused about whether or not I was abused?</a> and my subsequent comment beneath that post. Another comment I made on Jan. 25, 2008 titled <a href="http://www.child-abuse-effects.com/no-memory-of-childhood-is-this-common.html#comments">A coping mechanism...</a> deals with the issue of repressed memories for the question No memory of childhood: Is this common? I cannot speak to your fear of men, because there are too many variables; one of which could be from possibly having witnessed a sexual act between adults when you were a child. Again, Amandalynne, a therapist would be the professional to consult regarding your fears and suspicions. Darlene Barriere Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator Author: <a href="http://www.child-abuse-effects.com/my-story-of-abuse.html">On My Own Terms, A Memoir</a>

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