Child Abuse Story of Healing and Recovery From Tara

by Tara S.
(Wisconsin, USA)

I have recently turned the wonderful age of sixteen. Four days before I celebrated my birthday I was reading a story about a young girl who killed herself...in her note it said, "If only I could of connected with someone...would of known someone who shared the same pain as me...I'd be living to my sweet sixteen." Her words stayed in my heart for a week, and I have finally decided that I could maybe help someone...if I do this (write my story).

It started when I was five or six. My parents had been divorced for a few years by now and my real father had lost all contact with us. I was in kindergarten when my mother started dating this guy named Bob. My family loved him, and so did I...but I soon realized that his love for me was much different then the one he has for the rest of the family.

The sexual abuse started when I was going into first grade. It started with little things like him stroking my back, and then going to my butt, to him sliding his hands up my legs. I knew what he was doing was not right, but then again as a young girl who was only going in to first grade, I had no idea what to say, or who to tell. My mother was away on a business trip the winter of my first grade year. That's when Bob raped me. And I asked him, "Isn't this how girls get pregnant?" He laughed at me and said, "Don't you want to be a mommy?" Those words have replayed over and over again in my head many many times.

The abuse continued up until second grade October 27 at 8:45...Bob was giving me a spelling test in my room, and because I got a word wrong I had to take my pants down. At that very moment my mother came in my room, and all hell broke loose. She grabbed me and threw me in her room and wasn't yelling, but was in panic. I could see the fear in her eyes. My natural instinct was to start crying. Then my mother asked me, "Does Bob touch you?" Between sobs, I replied, "Yes." She asked where and I pointed on my body. My mother's face grew to complete anger. She whipped around so fast and slammed her bedroom door and locked my brother and I in there. The next few minutes were filled with screams from my mother towards Bob...hurtful words...and the silence...then sobs as my mother rushed in the room and embraced me. I knew I would never be hurt again.

The next day we went to Social Services place at the hospital. I talked to a lot of people that day, too many to be exact. Then I met a lady who changed my life. I still call her my angel today. For three years I went to her. She was amazing. Truly amazing, just like my mother. My life went back to normal and I was happy.

In 7th grade I hit a low point in my life. I was dating an older boy and I had broken up with him. I felt like my life was falling apart all over again. Suicide was my next option, but my mother saved me from that and I went back to counceling with the same lady named Linda who is my angel.

It's safe to say that I'm a normal teenager now. I have a loud and very out going personality. The grades are good, I'm on the soccer and wrestling teams, and not to mention yearbook, FBLA (Future Business Leaders of America: a national vocational student organization for students with an interest in business or business education), forensics, drama, and a lot of other stuff. I have an amazing boyfriend who accepts what has happened to me. He still loves me for me and not the haunting past that once consumed me. My friends and family have all supported me...and still do.

You can make it. It just takes time and strength. Never think that you are not good enough! You are! I live my life to make sure that other children never feel this sort of pain. It's a big dream, but it's coming true. One life changed at a time.

Thank you.
Sincerely-
Tara

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