Child Abuse Story of Healing and Recovery From Lilly

by Lilly
(Location Undisclosed)

My mum had Post Natal Depression when I was born and was just barely able to look after me. Things got a lot grimmer 15 months later when she began physically abusing me believing I wanted to kill the baby. When my mum was 5 her baby brother died of SIDS, she was left to rock him in his cradle while the family went out. Unable to sleep or deal with us we went into a home and mum went somewhere to rest. I never had a good relationship with my mum. My deepest fear was that she hated me. I think now in hindsight she probably hated herself but was too damaged to face that and punished me for the unacknowledged flaws she couldn't 'see' in herself. At 14 we were at loggerheads I wanted respect and support from her but the answer to everything was 'no'. I had up to that point been walking on eggshells all my life trying to stay out of the line of fire and I blamed myself for not being good enough. Now I was just plain angry and got kicked out for being too much trouble. My dad supported mum and never lifted a finger to help. He has always been like that.

I have tried everything to get some peace, spirituality, religeon, self-help books, phsychology, drugs, addictive substances and nutritional support for stress. Over the years I have physically declined and have very poor health,lots of anxiety, little money and I live alone. I have been able to find a way through some of it and am sticking with what is working for me. Holosync helps a lot, it realigns the left and right brain and reduces the stress. It helps you get more centered so you can face your fears. You have to face whatever it is that hurts you to get back the peace you need. Holosync is brainwave entrainment it rewires the brain. When we are young our brains are still forming and abused and neglected kids end up being wired for fear, stress and anxiety. It helps a lot, I can stop the compulsive thinking and let go of the past. Its still a work in progress. I have noticed my health is improving. Holosync is not overnight cure and works best with subliminal tapes. Subclassical on ebay are very good. After that its really about staying in the moment the way Eckhardt Tolle describes. Something that never worked before until the brainwave entrainment course kicked in. Hope I can help someone with this. My heart goes out to all of you who have suffered from abuse.

---

Note from Darlene: If I have not left a comment on your story, please understand that it is not personal; it's just that my hectic schedule no longer permits me to do so.

I hope you'll follow me on:


Email addresses, phone numbers, home addresses AND website/blog URLs in submissions and visitor comments are STRICTLY prohibited. Please don't include them, as they will be removed.