Child Abuse Story of Healing and Recovery From Laurie

by Laurie
(Huntsville, Alabama, USA)

When freedom came! 
I was 12 years old when freedom finally arrived at my house. My brothers (18 years, 14 years old) and sisters (17 years, 16 years, and 9 years old) had endured years of abuse from my father, and a couple of family members as well.

My dad drove a truck to support our family. Then one day, he just didn't work at all. At this time, my mother had to learn to drive (at age 40 years) in order to support us. There were many times I remember growing up that we didn't have electricity, food, essentials to live day to day

We were a devout Catholic family. Our dad was an enforcer in many ways, physically, mentally, verbally. So, I did what I was told. There was a vivid sense of "fear" surrounding my dad.

In a family of six children, I was next to the youngest child. I remember when the very first incident of abuse happened. My dad had always called me his favorite...he asked me to come back into the living room after everyone had gone to bed. I believe at that time I was around 5-6 years old. I entered the living room at 1:00 a.m. My dad was waiting in the dark, but had the T.V. still on, although the channels were "off", there was nothing but white snow on the tube. He began touching me in my private areas. I felt at that very moment that I was drifting into the white snow. (Survival mode, I guess.) I removed myself from what was happening to me! This is a small depiction of that very moment when my young life had stopped and a different one began.

I am a survivor of physical, sexual, and emotional child abuse. Freedom rang one day in the late 70's for us, when my 16-year-old sister told the school counsellor what was happening at our home. Although it was extremely hard for all of us, my dad was forced to leave our home. I believe that saved my life!!

Presently, I am a parent of 3. I can't begin to tell you what my story of survival means to me, and what it means to be able to share it; it's what we need to do.

THANK YOU for caring!! We can make it to a place where there's peace by always looking for that foundation and just believing that "God" had a plan. I used to question God and get so very angry, "How can you do this to me, us??!!" The Footprints in the Sand poem carried me over for many years after. (Read it!) The lessons learned from my childhood have painfully helped me to look twice over my shoulder; to listen and educate my children and those around us. It took years before my repressed memories surfaced; I thought I was going "crazy" and then it made sense. Our minds have a way of cleaning house at some given point.

I pray that those reading this, and other abuse websites, will reach out to those in need, and stop, look, and listen! DON'T turn and run. All it takes is "someone" that we can build "trust" in: A friend or guidance counsellor at school...and they too will open their arms to receive you and hold you. You are "SOMEONE" that cares!!

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