Child Abuse Story of Healing and Recovery From Kathy

by Kathy Jarrett
(Indianapolis, Indiana, USA)

Journey to Independenceville: 
As I start to leave Codependenceville, on my way to Independenceville, I am stopped by several red lights, a few stop signs and a couple of trains. Although the distance is short, less than a mile if you go the way by the old church, Colleen's office, and the library, it seems to be taking a long time to get there.

I wanted to take everyone with me, so I loaded everyone into my car. As soon as we started off, one of the tires exploded from all the weight. Everyone got out and left. So I started to change the tire by myself. I was having a lot of trouble; one of the lug nuts was stuck. I sat in the car to cry, when I saw Colleen driving by. She stopped and said, "Use this loosening spray I have, and that lug nut will come right off." It worked, and I was on my way again.

After waiting a long time for a train to pass, I became tired. I pulled over to rest. A police officer came up to my car and told me I could not rest there. He gave me a ticket and told me to pay it in 10 days or go to jail. I had no money, so I looked around for Job in Codependenceville. There was a sign in the front of a Law Office that said 'Hiring', so I went in.

I would not be getting my first check in time to pay the ticket, so I began to cry. When I was tired of crying, I got up and took a walk. As I walked by the old church on the corner, I saw something lying on the ground. It was money. It was more that enough to pay the ticket. I went into the church and thanked my Heavenly Father. Then I went back to the office very happy.

At that time I should have been back on my journey to Independenceville, but The Attorney and her family had been telling me I couldn't drive. So I didn't even try to start the car.

After one particularly stressful day of working for The Attorney, I started to have a heart attack. The Attorney was out golfing, so I had to either drive myself to the hospital or die. I got the car keys. I was so scared. I was sure I'd get in a wreck because I believed I couldn't drive. As I started up the car and took off, I was surprised. I could drive just fine. They were wrong.

I arrived at the hospital and they told me it was just stress, not a heart attack. They gave me a bill for $1,000.00 and a prescription for 10 Xanax. I went back to the office. I was so tired. I lay down to sleep.

I wanted to finish my work at the office and get back on my journey. But there was so much work, I could never see daylight. Also, I was very tired and The Attorney kept telling me I looked funny. So I worked and looked in the mirror most of the time.
I would make trips to the corner market and buy things I needed. This felt good. On a good day, I would dream of Independenceville. On a bad day, I would wonder if the town was merely a fable.

I had forgotten about the library down the street, the place where I had first gotten directions to Independenceville. I decided to go back to the library and get the directions again. Through all this time, I had been visiting Colleen, and then I met her family. Colleen kept telling me that I did not look funny. Her family didn't think so either. It was hard to hear because I believed I looked funny. I knew I had to put the mirror down if I was going to be able to see in front of me and start back on my journey.

I prepared myself to tell The Attorney that I must leave Codependenceville. She and her family screamed and said strange things when I told them. I'd lived there so long that I don't think they believed that I was really going to leave.

I packed the stuff I'd brought into the office from my car, back into the car. Tomorrow I would change the oil, get a spare tire, and fill the tank with gas. I had been trying to spend less money at the market so that I would have money to stay in a hotel on my way to Independenceville. Even though the distance was short, I need to be prepared. It seemed that it might take me a while to get there.

This story contains a great deal of symbolism. When I mention Colleen, I am referring to my counselor, and her family is the violence avoidance group I was in. The Attorney is my sister, and her family is my family.

I wrote this story eight years ago. I had just left a shelter for battered women in Florida. I spent the better part of the next year reading books, and going to group and counseling.

Two years ago I married a very kind man that I met at my mom's church. Funny thing, he was born in Independence, Kansas.

Darlene's comments to this "Child Abuse Story of Healing and Recovery From Kathy" can be found at Comments below this submission. Depending on system activity, there are sometimes delays in comments going live on my site; but rest assured, they do eventually appear. So if you don't yet see them, I hope you will return later to read what I, and possibly others, have written. I thank you for your patience and understanding.

Note from Darlene:
I am currently working on creating e-books which will provide my visitors access to specific and relevant child abuse information more readily. As this project will require a great deal of time and focus, I regret that I can no longer continue the practice of offering comments on all submissions. Please do not take my lack of response to your story personally; I mean no disrespect, nor is it intended as an invalidation of what you have endured. Indeed, I am honoured that you have chosen to post what has happened to you on my site. Whenever time permits, I will endeavour to provide supportive and validating replies. I hope you and my other visitors will continue to offer words of support and encouragement to the many contributors who have courageously shared of themselves through this site. I thank you for your understanding.

Sincerely,

Darlene Barriere
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir

Email addresses, phone numbers, home addresses AND website/blog URLs in visitor comments are STRICTLY prohibited, and could result in being banned from making further comments on this site.