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Child Abuse Story of Healing and Recovery From Hayley B

by Hayley B
(Birmingham, England)

I suffered abuse primarily at the hands of my brother, but I kept it hidden, even though I was hurting inside. It wasn't until I was 15 that I said anything about it at school, and they got the police involved so it was taken out of my hands. All hell let loose for months after that, and I felt confused and alone. I knew what my brother was doing to me and asking me to do to him was wrong, but I felt too confused to say anything until that day.

Unfortunately, I had very little support from the people I thought I could trust, and when the abuse turned to verbal and physical, my reactions were met only with punishment from my dad - normally in the form of a hefty wallop across the backside. That was all the thanks I got for dropping the charges against my brother. Sometimes my mum would lose her temper with me and slap the hell out of me, threaten me, and really injure me by throwing me against the back of the toilet. When I was a teenager and trying on new swimming costumes, she kept touching me.

Now I am getting used to a life without being bullied or abused. I underwent a year of counselling, and one of my best friends listens to me a lot as well. It's strange to get used to. My current employment is the first I've worked in for years without the fear of being bullied. I get played up by the patients and by a couple of members of staff, but we invariably crack up laughing. It's nice to feel appreciated, and I am slowly getting used to it. I know what they did to me isn't my fault but sometimes I still blame myself. I don't like guys getting near to me, and there aren't many that I trust other than my uncles, my dad and my former ice hockey coach – hence, I am 29 and still not got a boyfriend. My explanation being that I haven't found anyone mad enough.

Darlene's comments to this "Child Abuse Story of Healing and Recovery From Hayley B" are at the link below.

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Child Abuse Story of Healing and Recovery From Hayley B

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Apr 05, 2008
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Healing and recovery...
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

It sounds as though you are finding your stride, Hayley. It's very good that you have a best friend you can confide in; most of us need that kind of support in our lives.

I thought I'd point you in the direction of a few other posts from the Ask Darlene page on this site, Hayley. They correlate to non-supportive families such as yours. One comes from a contributor named Ray, the other ironically, from another Hayley in England. You'll have to scroll down to the very bottom of both comments pages for my replies to each.I hope you find them helpful.

Darlene Barriere
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir

Apr 05, 2008
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OMG
by: Sue

That is bad. This story made me cry. And other stories. I am so sorry about what happened to you. I wish I could say something better you know but I am only 11 and you know it is really depressing to know this. How other people that could be doing good are abusing people. I am so sad right now. But I am also happy that you aren't being abused anymore. I don't know what to say. It is just so sad. :( here is a hug!
<(^.^<)

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