Child Abuse Story of Healing and Recovery From Hayley B
by Hayley B
(Birmingham, England)
I suffered abuse primarily at the hands of my brother, but I kept it hidden, even though I was hurting inside. It wasn't until I was 15 that I said anything about it at school, and they got the police involved so it was taken out of my hands. All hell let loose for months after that, and I felt confused and alone. I knew what my brother was doing to me and asking me to do to him was wrong, but I felt too confused to say anything until that day.
Unfortunately, I had very little support from the people I thought I could trust, and when the abuse turned to verbal and physical, my reactions were met only with punishment from my dad - normally in the form of a hefty wallop across the backside. That was all the thanks I got for dropping the charges against my brother. Sometimes my mum would lose her temper with me and slap the hell out of me, threaten me, and really injure me by throwing me against the back of the toilet. When I was a teenager and trying on new swimming costumes, she kept touching me.
Now I am getting used to a life without being bullied or abused. I underwent a year of counselling, and one of my best friends listens to me a lot as well. It's strange to get used to. My current employment is the first I've worked in for years without the fear of being bullied. I get played up by the patients and by a couple of members of staff, but we invariably crack up laughing. It's nice to feel appreciated, and I am slowly getting used to it. I know what they did to me isn't my fault but sometimes I still blame myself. I don't like guys getting near to me, and there aren't many that I trust other than my uncles, my dad and my former ice hockey coach – hence, I am 29 and still not got a boyfriend. My explanation being that I haven't found anyone mad enough.
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