Child Abuse Story of Healing and Recovery From Dallas

by Dallas
(Nanaimo, BC, Canada)

I used to wonder why I was unusually withdrawn, why I was afraid of sex, and why I had little to no desire to meet new people. I think this went on throughout my teen years. Well, I found my answer at age 20, and although it brought back feelings of torment and fear, I am glad I did.

There is a two-year period of my early childhood (age 4-6) that is mostly a blank, except for a few vivid and terrible memories that had been buried deep in my subconscious. These memories relate to my experiences with a couple who lived across the street in my old neighborhood. I was sexually, mentally, and physically abused by this couple, leaving me with both internal and external scars that never went away.

At times I battle depression and suicidal thoughts, and sometimes I feel like it is a never-ending battle, but the difference is now I feel a lot more safe and secure than I did a few years ago. It was very difficult to confront these memories and accept them, but when I did I reported the incident to the police and started seeing a mental health professional. This gave me peace of mind and the hope that the couple would not hurt any other children. My family has been able to help me with the healing process, and I am very thankful for their support.

I used to seek solace in different addictions, and they were good escapes for awhile, but now I've turned to school and I feel confident that I will do well. I see a counselor regularly, and I find this to be a tremendous help.

My biggest problem now is that I have never had a lasting relationship. I have always wanted a good relationship with a nice girl, but it seems like the biggest challenge in the world for me. I have taken many steps to try and overcome this problem, but even just thinking about sex causes me great anxiety, and it makes me very frustrated that I still feel like a victim.

However, I do feel glad to have found a reason for some of my problems, and the fact that I can share my story with others who've dealt with similar problems is reassuring. Now I want to focus on helping others as best I can.

Thank you.

Note from Darlene: I regret that I can no longer continue the practice of commenting on visitor submissions to the degree I have in the past, as I am currently writing a book on healing from child abuse. I ask that you please read my post of June 24, 2009 titled Announcement Regarding my Comments for a complete explanation. I welcome you to follow my progress on my Facebook page at Healing from Child Abuse. When you get there, don't forget to click onto the Become a Fan link. I do hope to hear from you there.

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