Child Abuse Story of Healing and Recovery from Celeste D

by Cindy D
(Laredo, Texas, USA)

I am a former child abuse victim. Throughout my early teens I was exposed to numerous therapists after my siblings and myself were taken away from my mother. we were removed on the grounds of neglect, though it was much more than that. At that age "12" that was the only life I knew, so I defended my mother and lied when I was asked about any physical abuse, afraid of the unknown. I did not want to live with a stranger. The first year that I was in foster care, I would have some what supervised visits with my mother still hoping to soon be reunited with her, after all she was my mother; the only mother I had ever known.

I can vividly remember my final visit with my mother, I recall feelig uncofortable, her personality was hard to surpress and after being treated better at a foster home by strangers I couldnt bare the though of going back to her. Her rights were soon terminated and my siblings and I were up for adoption. It would be a long journey to self discovery.

As an adolecent teen I dealt with issues of abuse myself I carried the sins of my mother onto my siblings. Being the eldest of the Three I was in charge of them, in charge of playing the mother role and I played the role I had previously learned from my abusive mother well, I was even dub "mommy dearest" by my first foster parents which is something I am not very proud of. My behavior was not hidden for long and I was taught that that was not the way another individual should be treated. Thankfully I was able to extinguish or momentrily supress that behavior.

I eventually aged out of foster care after years of hardship and numerous foster home placements including one adoption placement. I was finally out on my own and off to college with the help of a good family which I am still in contact with today and see as my mother and father.

My freshman year in college was a blur, I was lost, I somehow managed to pass my classes in order to maintain the services to help pay for my dormitory, but was engaged in heavy drinking. At the time I was with my high school boyfriend of three years and was a recreational user. At this time I was in a feud with my foster parents and was not allowed to see my siblings or spend time with my family. I stayed away for about a year.

That year I began to frequent my biological mother, who is now a prostitute. I would visit her because I was trying to fill a void that could no longer be filled by her. she shoplifted and I picked up the nasty habit after a while. Unfortunatly I was caught and arrested, my world was turning into a complete disaster, my self esteem was little to none.

I couldnt allow myself to fail, I would not allow it. I finally regained comunication with my family and severed ties with my biological mother, though I like to check on her from time to time I know that I was taken away from her for a reason many years ago and feel that it is best if I no longer see what she has become.

It is not an easy thing to go back and relive the experiences that shaped the person that I am today, but I am in search to find answers and ways that can help others understand the lasting effects child abuse can have on a person and shed light on hope and healing.

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