Child Abuse Story of Healing and Recovery From Brittany

by Brittany
(Atlanta, Georgia, USA)

I'm an adult child of a parent with untreated Borderline Personality Disorder. My entire childhood was filled with fear, hopelessness, abuse, and abandonment. I had only one sibling, a younger brother, who my mother absolutely adored. He was her favorite child and she always made it very well known. Since I was the only other female in the household, my mother took a strong hatred for me. She was always accusing me of having a sexual relationship with my father (which never happened) and would try to blame all of her marital problems on me, even as a young child.

I took like one day at a time because that was the only way to survive. I remember how confused I was always feeling about my home life. Am I a GOOD daughter? Is it my fault mommy is so unhappy, so angry all the time? She was constantly running out on our family in the middle of the night, not coming home for a few days at a time. She would pick up my little brother and kiss him good-bye, tell him she loved him. She'd then look up at me, crying on the stairs above her, and say "You little f***ing b***h". Countless names were hurled at me (I won't post them here) and several different wishes she had for me (such as "I hope you get raped").

There was minimal physical abuse but when I think about it now I would have rather been smacked than go through the daily abuse and torture I endured. In my teenage years I was very lost and rebellious. I hated my family and I didn't know who I was or what direction to take in my life. The only thing that kept me sane was staying as far away from home as possible. When I turned 18 I moved out immediately.

I have completely cut ties with my mother. I have no contact with her what-so-ever and I never will again. This and ONLY this has made me a much more stable person. Instead of thinking about her as my mother, I think of her as a mental patient. If a mental patient called me a "bi**h" or a "wh**e" then I wouldn't be offended. I find that if I think about her as being mentally ill then I don't take as much offense because she is, in fact, crazy.

Be strong. If you have made it this far, you are still breathing, you are still fighting, and living, then you are on the right track. Take it one day at a time, get your education so you can get a good job, move out, and NEVER have to go back again. Never look back. Grieve, let yourself cry. But once you're done, you're done.

Keep your head high. You are NOT your parents, you are your own person and you are never trapped. There is always a way out!

---

Note from Darlene: I welcome you to follow me on my Facebook page at Healing from Child Abuse. When you get there, don't forget to click onto the Become a Fan link. I hope to hear from you there!

Email addresses, phone numbers, home addresses AND website/blog URLs in submissions and visitor comments are STRICTLY prohibited. Please don't include them, as they will be removed.