Child Abuse Story of Healing and Recovery From Brian

by Brian
(Canada)

"WOW" I'm glad I found this site first of all; thank you Darlene. I've read the stories of abuse and healing on this site. This has brought back lots of memories and pain I endured as a child. However, this has helped me to put my life into perspective today.

I am a survivor of child abuse, an achievement I share with everyone here on this site. My healing started the day I decided to move out on my own. I didn't know what I was going to do, but whatever I did had to be better than being sheltered in that home, being controlled and abused daily.

The biggest thing for me was discovering that there was another person inside of me, busting to get out, the one that wasn't being abused and berated, the one who blamed himself for everything.

I discovered a whole new life where I had a full-time job and a girlfriend (whom I married when I was 21). My older brother was very supportive and got me the job. My older sister supported me also. My biggest eye opener was my girlfriend's family, and being around them to see the love and support of a real family where there was no abuse.

This helped me to overcome issues of trust I had as an abused child, and to open me up to people who loved me. I believed in myself because other people believed in me.

When we decided to get married, I was scared, because I thought in the back of my mind, am I going to be like my father. I talked to my wife about this. I told her that if she sees me losing my temper with our children to stop me and point it out to me before it gets out of hand.

I promised myself that I would not be like my father, but it's not that easy. As a child of abuse, you learn behavioral patterns to survive the abuse. Once you are out on your own, it's hard to change these patterns.

I can honestly say the day my first born son came into this world and I held this bundle of joy in my arms, was the day my life changed forever. I promised him on that day that I would love and cherish him always. I did this by always believing in myself, and by being in a positive frame of mind, no matter what situation I found myself in. I changed my behavioral patterns to co-exist with my life in the present, leaving behind the old patterns and learning new ones. The best way I can explain it is: We are all born spiritual beings who learn to live the human experience and what comes with it, and in our cases, that was abuse at the hand of a loved one.

It's about finding that true inner being that is inside of all us, being sheltered by the abuse. Once you find that inner being, you become who you were truly meant to be. Once you find that inner being, you will find purpose in your life, and this will help you to heal and overcome the abuse.

Then together, we can join hands and walk this fight to bring awareness to child abuse issues.

I apologize this is so long, but this cause is an undying passion of mine, and I will walk to the end of earth if that's what it takes to bring awareness to those so blind to Child Abuse.

Thanks for listening and sharing your stories. I share in your tears and pain, and you have my love and support always.

Brian

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