Child Abuse Story of Healing and Recovery From Anonymous

by Anonymous
(Arizona, USA)

I'm keeping my name anonymous because if some of my family found this, it would cause so many problems. I don't exactly remember when it started, but I think it was around the second grade.

Me and my cousins spent our summers at my grandmother's house. My older cousin told me I was special. He would take me to a place by my grandmother's house that was private. He would make me touch him in places, and then he would do the same to me. For a while I didn't know anything was wrong, but when he started threatening me to not tell anyone, I knew something was wrong. So I told my only friend in the fourth grade. Even though I swore her to secrecy, she had a nightmare and told her mom, who in turn told my parents. They were outraged . . . and then nothing. Sure the abuse stopped, but I had flashbacks and nightmares for years. I did well in school grade-wise, but nobody liked me. I was constantly picked on, so from the sixth- to ninth-grade I didn't speak in public. I only talked to my closest friends, who also were outcasts.

The ninth-grade summer, my life changed. I went on a retreat with my youth group. We split up into small groups and we were told that we could share anything, and I did. The female leader became my closest friend. She helped me begin to heal. We had groups in the church and we met outside of church and just hung out and helped each other though problems. At this point I was still scared of all males and still believed it was somehow my fault that I was molested. It took me two years to trust the male leader of my group, but when I did he was able to help me understand that it was not my fault. I then hated my cousin and wanted him dead. Fortunately, he didn't live anywhere near me. He moved to his dad's after what he did was found out. With the help of God and my friends, I have forgiven him. Don't get me wrong, I don't trust him and when he comes to visit I'm polite, but the most he gets is a handshake. I will never allow him to touch my body.

It's been almost four years, and I'm still learning and healing, but I have a job and I'm doing amazing. As soon as I get money saved up I'm going to college to be a child psychologist so that I will be able to help kids like me before they get as bad off as I was.

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