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Child Abuse Story of Healing and Recovery From Angelica

by Angelica
(Phoenix, Arizona, USA)

I am a survivor! 
I have struggled for so many years to try and remember what happened or when it all began but it seems that I can't!!! Going to school in my younger years was very hard; I didn't know what to think when I saw my friends and their fathers. Was there something at home that happened to all the little girls? Was a father really supposed to touch his daughter that way??? I had so many questions and I didn't know how to clear out my mind.

I was the youngest of 5 siblings and not once did I dare tell my family that my dad at times touched me in a way that made me hurt all over. I grew more and more apart from the world and I blamed my mom so many times because she never noticed, she never accepted that her husband was abusing her daughter. I was on my own, and for so many years I kept that thought. I WAS ALONE....

I am now 18 years old and I just came out of a deep depression. For a while I thought my life was senseless and that the only path to it all was death...I didn't seem to notice that outside the birds sang and that children out there were happy. Never once did I stop to see the sun would rise each and every day. I didn't think I could be what I am today!!! I am a self dependant woman that fights each and every battle! I decided I wanted something different for my life and I went and grabbed it. I am still seeing a psychologist but I am sure that one day I won't need one. When we want change we also need to find the will. I am not only living for me but I'm living to fight abuse!!! I am a survivor!!!

A Video Reading by Darlene BarriereNote from Darlene: The volume of contributor submissions has now made it impossible for me to comment personally (especially in great detail) on each and every contribution. If I haven't left you a comment or one that is in-depth, please do not take my lack of a personal response as a slight, or as a statement that your story is somehow unworthy of my time. Nothing, and I do mean nothing, could be further from the truth. If there was a way for me to respond to all of you at length, I would.

Email addresses, phone numbers, home addresses AND website/blog URLs in visitor comments are STRICTLY prohibited, and could result in being banned from making further comments on this site.

Comments for
Child Abuse Story of Healing and Recovery From Angelica

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Apr 19, 2009
A fellow survivor...
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

Yes, Angelica, you ARE a survivor, a survivor on many planes. You survived the most betraying type of abuse at the hands of a twisted father—a man who was responsible for protecting you and keeping you safe from harm—all under the nose of a seemingly oblivious mother. And now you have survived the resulting depression, and come through it on the other side. You have much to be proud of.

I understand why you would ask the questions you have asked. I understand why you would need to know how your mother couldn't know that her precious daughter was hurting all over because of her husband's sick desires. I understand why you would need to know if she chose to ignore the signs, if she really didn't notice, or if she refused to believe that her husband was capable of such atrocities. I don't know if you still need answers to those questions, but if you do, I trust you will continue to enlist in the help of your psychologist.

I like your use of the term "self dependant". It denotes strength, determination and integrity; at least three character traits you most certainly possess in spades. Yes, Angelica, you most definitely ARE a survivor, a remarkable survivor with intent to turn her own personal pain into personal power. I applaud and commend your goal of "living to fight abuse". You began the journey by recognizing you needed help and then got that help. You've continued the journey to realize just how much strength you really have. And now part of your journey is writing your story here for my visitors to read, a story that is inspirational, a story that gives hope to others who continue to struggle every day for the self dependence you have found for yourself. I thank you, Angelica, for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

A Video Reading by Darlene Barriere
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir

Apr 19, 2009
Love of oneself and high self esteem go hand in hand
by: Maurice

Angelica, your the best, your great to share you abuse healing story especially at 18, your the luck one to acknowledge and get help for yourself at your young age. I took much, much longer to begin my healing process. You give great hope to all younger people who are coping with their abuse. There sure is a great life for one after that bad and tradgig chapter of our lives especially as innocent victims in it all. Angelica it is great you are still being helped professionally and to know you won't always need him or her. That is a great to acknowledge and value. You always believe in yourself, Love yourself, value yourself, you're one very special woman and you love you because of that. Build up your self-esteem and do your best to have a good mirror image of the beautiful you and person you are. Darlene is always right and sensitive with her words of Love and Concern for all her visitors. You wwill not go too far astray if you heed her words of support and encouragemnet

Jan 18, 2010
wow
by: Anonymous

i'm doing a prodject on abuse for public speeking and was googling info and saw this site i thought oh my god, you are a savivour and im bulding strenth to relize i'm a fighter too sorry about my spelling im 11 so im trying my best your story has toutched my heart and will use this story for a base for some constructive work so keep fighting and stay strong YOU ARE A FIGHTER.

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