Child Abuse Story of Healing and Recovery From Abbey

by Abbey M.
(Cobram, Victoria, Australia)

As some of you may remember, I submitted a story earlier this year (see Child Abuse Story From Abbey) describing the experiences I had with child abuse. I'm here once again to update you on how speaking to someone has really helped me to achieve a normal life again, in which I can now trust people and not be afraid of my family.

After three months of avoiding Bronson (abusive ex-boyfriend), my mother contacted me. She asked me how things were, and that she was planning to move home to the Murray again. I didn't know what to say. Mum was unaware of all that had happened, and part of me was scared. I think at the time, I convinced myself that she wouldn't believe me. But after what seemed like forever, I met with my mum at a local cafe.

Mum asked me how Bree (older sister) was doing. I just sat there, afraid, not wanting to say anything. Finally she asked, "Is Bree alright? What's happened to her, Abs?" So I just blurted out everything between my tears and Mum held my hand across the table, promising things would be alright from now on.

I moved into a little flat with Mum and although she was still there, it felt like nobody was home. I was so used to big families with two parents, and here I was, a single mother and myself. But I was proud of what we had. Although things were going fine, I still was hiding a secret from Mum.

I never told her about Bronson. I had a fear of being rejected or being accused of being a liar. I thought that, being young, my opinion wasn't worthy to be heard. It took a lot of courage, but still I couldn't do it alone.

I went to one of my teachers on a Tuesday and confessed to her that I needed help with telling Mum. So this teacher of mine called Mum and made an appointment for a meeting. It was easier to tell her, a teacher, than my mum. She had no reason to reject me.

In the meeting, I had a million spasms all across my face and I couldn't stop shaking. I was horrified and almost threw up. But eventually, I told Mum the story, directly from the start. She suggested I see a psychologist, and took me to my doctor the following day to make a referral.

My doctor was very kind. I was very attached to her. I found it slightly difficult telling her, and I was almost sick of telling people the story. But I knew in my heart that it had to be done.

The first time I saw my psychologist, I didn't know what to expect. But she was beautiful and outgoing, but had a gentle vibe to her. I almost immediately opened up to her and I felt a sense of pride and felt courage wash over me. I knew I had made the biggest step in life yet. And I didn't look back.

I'm still living with Mum in our little flat, and I'm doing year 10 at school. Seeing my psychologist has helped me see through abuse from a different angle, while also helping me to deal with watching and experiencing abuse. I now am no longer afraid to see my father. I travelled to Queensland to see him a few times, with my psychologist, doctor and a friend for support. Mum was so angry at him, and chose not to go. I stood up for myself, and really let Dad know what I thought of him. I wasn't afraid to yell at him and let him know how he made me feel.

I still haven't seen Bree or Jake (older brother) for a very long time, and I miss them so much. Wherever they are, if they are reading this, know that everything is alright. Dad can't hurt us anymore and we're still a family. Mum is doing well and so am I, but if you're reading this, please contact me. I miss you and love you both so much. xx

Seeking professional help can do more good than you could ever imagine. It gives you strength, and courage, and allows you to deal with your experiences in a healthy way. Please, do it for yourself and all those who love you immensely. Take care, find the strength and courage in your heart, and speak up to someone you trust. They have no right to judge you or accuse you, and you will be able to move on with your life. I wish all those reading all the very best...

Darlene's comments to this "Child Abuse Story of Healing and Recovery From Abbey" can be found at Comments below this submission. Depending on system activity, there are sometimes delays in comments going live on my site; but rest assured, they do eventually appear. So if you don't yet see them, I hope you will return later to read what I, and possibly others, have written. I thank you for your patience and understanding.

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