Child Abuse Story From Ysabele

by Ysabele
(United Kingdom)

I don't even remember when it started. It was with my elder brother and was definitely pre-pubescent, but I can't put an age to when it first started. I started developing, and that happened later than my friends, so it was before 12, so when it started I don't know. I wasn't a baby, that is for sure. I was old enough to remember, and I think memory starts at 6/7. It happened over a period of time, and I am sure it was the primary years, which in UK are 5-11.

I don't really know how it started. I think I just got on well with him. He is 5 years older than me, my brother, and can barely read and write – dyslexic, I suppose, deprived of love, affection and attention from my parents and had to suffer a lot of criticism from our father.

I, on the other hand was a shy, clever, pretty, quite-willing-to-please sister.

My earliest memory of it all was a scene in the woods where we lived. I must have been 6. I was approached by a man with a motor bike who offered me 3 pence (before decimalisation) to show him my knickers, and I did. He then offered me 6 pence to show him my "bottom". I withdrew at this point and decided it was wrong and walked away. My brother was somehow on the scene and he shared my profit. I bought some chocolate and shared it with him. I thought then, why didn't he protect me from the man. I wondered, why was it me who took the initiative and said no. I was disappointed with him.

We moved, and it started then. I remember because my sister and I had bunk beds, and he would be with me and my other brother would be with my sister; there was a mirror opposite and we could see them and they couldn't see us, or so he said. So he would start by playing with me and that would be it, because my other brother was in the room.

It transpired that my other brother didn't do anything to my sister. She was younger and not so willing to please, and I don't think my other brother wanted to. It was just that he felt pressurised by his/our elder brother.

It moved on to full sex, oral and anal. I still can remember the smell and taste.

Even now he greets me differently to everyone, and feels we share something. He is an alcoholic, and I know he has issues with the whole business.

I confronted him with it all on my 40th. He just said sorry and he didn't know that I would remember!!

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