Child Abuse Story From Young Anonymous

by Young Anonymous
(Location Undisclosed)

I have only just turned 18, and I was sexually abused. The earliest memory I have of it was when I was 6 or 7. I was abused by my step brother, who is 7 years older than me. As I was only young, I didn't know what he was doing to me was bad, and as he was my older brother I looked up to him, I trusted him.

The first time it happened he was babysitting me and my youngest brother when Mum and Dad went out. Everything was fine, until it was time for bed. He said goodnight to my brother and came into my room. He kissed me on top of my head and told me that I was such a good girl, and that I didn't want to make Mum and Dad unhappy with me, so I wasn't to ever tell them what he was about to do because they would hate me. Stupidly, I believed him.

Slowly he put his hands under the covers and didn't stop until his hand was between my legs. He rubbed over my clothing for a short while. He told me this was all for now and reminded me not to tell anyone.

Nothing happened for a time after this, until Mum and Dad went away on holiday for a week. My youngest brother (4) went with them, so it was just me and him at home. My aunt who lived down the road came to check on us from time to time...but it didn't stop him.

The first night he touched me while we were watching TV, slowly putting his fingers inside me. He then got me naked and he was naked also. He made me touch him.

The next night I woke up to him playing with me. He was naked, and when he saw that I was awake he made me 'satisfy' him.

This was a constant event until I turned 12. Then it all changed. My parents would go out. He would put my brother to bed. I would try to hide. He always found me. He was angry at me for hiding, so he would say that tonight's punishment was going to be worse. He made me put a condom on him, then he laid me down and raped me. I tried crying out in pain, but he held a pillow over my face. This continued to happen until I was 14 and told my teacher. Nothing much has been done about it because I don't have evidence or witnesses.

I feel so dirty and betrayed by both my brother and my parents...but I feel it is all my fault. I could have stopped it...but I trusted him.

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