Child Abuse Story From Yessica
by Yessica
I've had emotional abuse by my mother, which contributed to my sexual abuse. Ever since I was young, I've craved my mother's attention. She never hugged me, unless it was special ocations, she always treated me in a mean and hurtful way. I always cried to my counselors about knowing my mom din't love me. She always put men before us. I was 5 when her boyfriend began to beat us up. He would throw me & my younger sister against the wall, & punch us & hit us multiple times. He then began to make us masturbate him..we din't know at the time what he was doing. One day my momcame from work, & our face was all bruised up. She got mad and started to scream at him, which ended in him physically abusing her too. She brouke up with him, btu went back with him later. He stopped abusing us but he absued her. She brouke up with him, & met another boyfriend. My little brothers dad. I would cuddle with this man because i tought he was nice, but he took it the wrong way I guess. He started kissing me...& touching my privates parts..he tried to rape me, & my younger sisters as well. I think he fingered me..Over time my brain has chosen to delete that part of my life, so I dont remember much. The man went to jail for illegal reason, & I felt safe to tell my mother about this. She proceeeded to ask me the size of his penis, I answered incorrectly, being a child. & She asked him about it trough letters & he dienied the whole thing. She made me write him a letter saying i forgive him, & he can come live back with us. This hurt me so much..after I cought my father feeling on me once, I also found out my father raped my older sister. My older brother used to play games with us,on which he ended up humping us. It din't seem right but i think i developed a crush on him. He dint live with us so we only saw him on school vacations. Well, I started having sex at 12. With my boyfriend at the time.I dont know why, i started getting aroused easily.. Now I am 16 & I have a baby. My baby loves her dad, she always run happily to him & she never wants to leave when he drops her off. But recently, she dosent want leave with him. Shes 2. I know its her dad, but I cant help to have all these terrible toughts come to mind. I cry about it when I let her go, I think all these terrible things that could be happenin, & then the feeling of what i felt and memories refresh on my mind. Its horrible Im terrified that her dad could be hurting my baby. I dont know what to think or do.I want this pain and memories to go away. I dont know who to talk to, im so alone on this. I feel like nobody will understand me. I wanna cry in school but I fight it very hard.  Note from Darlene: If I have not left a comment on your story, please understand that it is not personal; it's just that my hectic schedule no longer permits me to do so.I hope you'll follow me on:  Email addresses, phone numbers, home addresses AND website/blog URLs in submissions and visitor comments are STRICTLY prohibited. Please don't include them, as they will be removed.
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