Child Abuse Story From Victoria

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Child Abuse Story From Victoria

by Victoria
(England)

My life is rough, but i dont like to talk about it. The pain in my eyes when i read these storys hurts more than the pain i felt during my experience. Im adopted, which make things alot more awkward. My foster mothers father sexually abused me since the age of 3 months till just after my 14th birthday. I turned 15, july 2011. I dont know what to do, i cry too often. He used to force me to do things i didnt understand, i couldnt talk about it...i couldnt tell anyone. When i did my life got worse, i started hating school and hating being around people. I started to cut my self, i started to drink and take drugs. Im 15 years old, and ive been through alot. I cant take sympathy because its just not given, my foster parents dont talk about it. They dont give me help, i feel trapped i just want to die. I dont know what to do, and i cant help but hate my life. My foster mother has cancer, and my real mother and father couldnt care less about me. Im hurting people and i dont mean to but i cant heal, for some reason my heart lives them days of torture over and over again, my life is in ruins. He got 6 years for stealing my 14 years. Not even half of the years i put up with, my grandmother belives him. To be honest most of the family belive him, sometimes i just want to die. I need help, but i dont know where to get it or who to talk to, the school doesnt seem to help and i cant help my self. He used to take me to a cemetory and touch me inapropriatly, sometime on the bus, and sometimes in the garden. Everytime i was at his house, it happened no matter what, he made me watch videos online. He made me do things that make me physically sick, i just cant handle my life anymore. I want to die.

Darlene Barriere: author. speaker. survivor. coach

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Child Abuse Story From Victoria

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Oct 30, 2011

Victoria:
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

You don't want to die. You want to be out of pain. The fact that you're opening up about your feelings here is a very big step. Don't keep what you feel inside; keep talking about it. And don't only think of all the bad stuff. Even amongst the terrible things that are happening in your life, there are positives. I can see positives: you're smart (and I mean REALLY smart) and courageous. You didn't keep the secret, you told, which was so the right thing to do. It might not feel that way right now because of the lack of support, but you not only stopped the abuse, Victoria, you stopped another child from being abused. He's in jail so he can't hurt another child. That's a massive accomplishment. Sometimes it's difficult to see the positives in your life, but they're there if you look closely enough. There was a point in my life many years ago that it seemed as though everything was going wrong. Right down to the fact that on one particular day, on top of everything else, I stepped in a great big pile of doggie doo walking to the gym. It might sound funny now, but in the moment I struggled to find even just one positive thing for the day...I came up with one: it was so cold that day that the doggie doo was partially frozen so I didn't mess up my runners nearly as much as they would have been if it had been warmer outside. It's all in how we look at things, Victoria. You need to talk to someone. Please consider contacting ChildLine on 0800 1111. Visit their website by copying & pasting the following URL into your browser: http://www.donthideit.com

Don't betray and abandon your Self in the way so many other have. You deserve to be treated with dignity and respect and love. Start by treating your Self in that way, and call the number. Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir

Oct 31, 2011

You don't want to die..
by: AnonymousT

You're asking for help. That's what this is.

First, listen to Darlene. Take notice of the hotlines listed on the site. They're there for you.

Second, your foster parents probably don't know what to say or how to proceed. So do try a counselor, that's what they're there for.

You are allowed to feel angry, hurt, betrayed...anything. He hurt you. But now, you can look back and say "That's over, those memories can't hurt me, I survived." You survived Victoria, do you know how strong you are???

Healing is tough, it's a long road. But you can do it - one day at a time, or if you want, one hour at a time. Give yourself a goal, "I will get through this day, and smile when I feel I can."

Also, see if you can find something to de-stress. I promise it works. Karate, tai-chi, yoga, cycling, ....the list goes on & on. try something out - you hate it, try something new. Once you find it, it will be YOURS.

Much luck to you.

Oct 31, 2011

sweetheart please read
by: lauren

Baby Girl i dont often make comments on things like this but i want you to know coming from someone who has been through similar things. the difference is the people who were supposed to protect you... they didnt do what they needed to. with me, it was a boy in the neighborood who would regularly rape me. the thing is our nieghborhood was small and everyone knew him i kept silent for so long terrified that if i told people would think i was a liar because he was even best friends with my older brother. everyonw knew him. i eventually told so that i could release the pain and most of all anger.thinking specifically about what happened when i turned seven until i was fifteen makes me physically naseus among other things. I REACHED TO DRUGS ... it helps doesnt it? f**k no it doesnt iu've been drinking and using drugs since i was twelve. it doesnt help. its temporary, as a result of my drug use, i was drinkin when somebody slipped the date rape drug in my drink while i was completely unaware and i was raped again. dont let your life slip away please just go to a church, i dont even believe in god but believe or not, they CAN HELP, better yet find some type of support group, cause you cant ignore the problem you have to stop the cycle now.
i've just turned seventeen and i myself still cant get over this completely but let me tell you from expirience drugs isnt the answer.

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Child Abuse Story From Victoria

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Child Abuse Story From Victoria