Child Abuse Story From Victoria

by Victoria
(Washington, USA)

I was only 2 when my mom and stepdad met. He moved in with me, my mom, sister and grandparents when I was three and my sister was 8 or 9. Before they got married, my stepdad and older sister got along great and would have a lot of fun which I was always involved in. When I was five and my sister was 10 or 11 my mom and stepdad got married. We moved out of my grandparents' house and into our own home 20 minutes away. It was quiet, an adjustment, but it was nice having our own home finally. When my sister turned 12, things started going sour between her and my stepdad. I was only 6 at the time and didn't know any better myself. Things were changing between me and my stepdad as well.

Me and my stepdad would have this game where I would hide a golf ball somewhere on me. I didn't know he would go as far as reaching into my pants to retrieve it, which is where I used to hide it. When that game got old we stopped playing it.

At the age of 7, my mom believed I was old enough to bathe myself and I agreed with her as well because I was trying to be like my older sister who fought with my stepdad on a regular basis. Well, while mom believed I was old enough to bathe on my own, my stepdad did not. He would come in and wash my body, which made me feel very uncomfortable. That went on until I was 9 and my mom would not allow him to go into the bathroom when I was in there.

When I was 9 and on summer vacation, my stepdad and I went to Utah with his jeep club. My sister was not allowed to go, which made me very uncomfortable to be going by myself. On the way there I laid across the seat of the jeep to get some sleep. My stepdad took my hand and made me stroke something that was soft. When I couldn't take the curiosity anymore, I peeked over to where my hand was at and saw he was making me stroke him. I didn't let on that I knew what he was doing but it scared me. When we got back from the trip, my stepdad left me alone for awhile and continued to fight with my sister and make her miserable. Well, while I still didn't know what my stepdad was doing to me was wrong, we would wrestle every once in awhile. He would have me pinned on the ground and I would feel something between my legs. Whenever I asked him what it was he just said I'm feeling things. I knew what it was, I just didn't want to face the facts.

When I was in 5th grade, we all had that talk about sex, and going through puberty. When child abuse was brought up I listened carefully of the descriptions of sexual abuse. When the discussion was over I finally realized that my stepdad was molesting me and possibly my sister. When I got home that day and told my mom about the discussion at school, my stepdad then knew that I knew what he was doing was wrong. He started telling me when my mom would be gone shopping or out doing errands that if I told anyone I would be taken out of my home, he would go to jail and I would never see my mom or sister again. Being only ten years old I was scared that was going to happen and didn't say anything.

When I was 11, I found out that my stepdad had accepted a farming position in Illinois where his family was at and that we would be moving there. At first I was excited but when I found out my sister wouldn't be going because it was her senior year I started to freak out not wanting to be left alone with a guy who was abusing us. The day that my mom, stepdad and myself left to drive half way across the country, my sister stood on my grandparents' front porch crying because she was letting her little sister go into a horrible fate and didn't say anything about it to save me. It still haunts my sister to this day.

Living in Illinois wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I saw his parents more and his cousins. I made friends fast at my new school and went to a lot of sleepovers. My mom got a job at the university and my stepdad had a second job as a truck driver when farming season was over. But when he and I would be home by ourselves it would be different. He would always say we should get naked and do the rain dance. I of course refused because I was 12 years old and going through puberty. One day he actually stripped down and got naked in front of me not caring what I saw.

He continued to come into the bathroom whenever I would take a shower, even though he had his own bathroom. He didn't attempt to come into my room anymore, but it was still scary being in the house alone with him while my mom was at work.

When I started 7th grade he started using a belt as a punishment if I didn't get something done or was being disrespectful. As a rule in my house, I had to get my planner signed every day by my teachers. One day my English teacher was out sick and the substitute didn't sign my planner. When I got home and my stepdad saw this he took off his belt and beat me until I passed out from the pain. We never spoke of this to my mom or let her know what was going on when we would be alone.

I went to school with welts on my back. The girls in gym would see this every day when we were changing and tell the P.E teacher, who didn't do anything about it.

After school got out for the year I flew back to Washington to see my grandparents. Two weeks into the visit I found out that my mom and I would be moving back. Needless to say I was very happy about this. My mom didn't tell me about the divorce to my stepdad until a month after school started and I was in 8th grade. I was so happy that I could've leaped for joy. But as the weeks went on after hearing this news, my stepdad would call me all the time and say how much he missed me. He would send me cards, and then he would start threatening me if I so much as mentioned to him I was going to tell my mom what he did.

Knowing what he might do to me, I became very withdrawn from everyone and started cutting myself on the arm to release a pain that no one would ever know I was feeling. My neighbors up the street knew something was wrong but never pushed me to tell them what it was exactly. When my stepdad's phone calls would end in me crying, my mom told my stepdad that he would no longer be allowed to talk to me. He started saying that he would kill himself if he couldn't talk to me. That scared me even more and I became even more withdrawn from my friends and family.

My P.E teachers at school knew something was wrong and when they saw the cuts on my arms they finally called my mom, concerned about what was going on with me: my failing grades, always being sick, never being at school, the cuts on my arms and covering myself when a teacher would raise a hand to me to point something out. I knew my mom was mad at me for cutting myself, so the night she confronted me about it, I let everything out that my stepdad had done to me. Everything from the baths, the threats, the belt, everything I could spill out. She started screaming how she was going to kill him and got on the phone with him to confront him about it. Before she could push the dial button, I ran out of the house and up the street to my neighbor's. They knew what had happened and welcomed me into their home. My mom came up 30 minutes later and told me he would never hurt me again.

I didn't go to school for two weeks because I was scared and traumatized. It took my mom weeks to get me out of the house without being scared. My teachers at school found out and I was required to see the school counselor every day until I felt the need to no longer do so. I went through a lot of interviews with police, SARC and lawyers. We went to court for a year before he was convicted. He was charged with two counts of child molestation and one count of physical abuse and only got 5 1/2 years in jail when he should've served more. I am now 19 years old and didn't tell my mom until I was 14. He has one year left until he will be let out. That is my story.

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