Child Abuse Story From Vicki2

by Vicki
(Orlando, Florida, USA)

The abuse started when I was approximately 3 years old and continued until sometime in my 16th year. My step-father was the first. I can remember him showing himself to me and telling me the names of all the "parts". He would make me fondle him, and he would touch me. Usually he was drunk when this occurred, but there were times he was sober. My mother was not around – she was always at work when he approached me. Sometimes he would pick me up at school and take me down a back road. I don't remember the specific words he said to warn me not to tell, but I clearly knew I was not to tell anyone, especially my mom.

As the years went on, I had a vicious love/hate relationship with him. I wanted so much to have a normal, loving father, and I hated him for ruining that. We never talked or had anything to do with each other. He certainly was not there for me emotionally. The only thing he did was provide for me financially.

There were other men, as well, who abused me. My real father met me when I was 11—I stayed a summer with him and his family in Washington. He treated me like a girlfriend, kissing me and holding my hand. I wanted him to love me and hoped he would let me come live with him – anything to get away from the violence in my home with my step-dad. My step-dad was loud and mean, a vicious drunk. In comparison, my real father was soft spoken, funny, handsome, and I desperately wanted him to love me. But as time went on and he continued to treat me like a girlfriend, I understood that it was not to be.

My step-dad had a country band, and I would go with my family to hear the band play music at various bars and clubs where I grew up. It was a racy lifestyle for a child, and teen. I was hit on by older men all the time. They would dance with me, and flirt with me like I was an adult.

Other men abused me - men from church that I respected and looked to for help.

It has taken me years and years to understand how much I need therapy. The abuse affected me in every way possible. Now I'm just trying to get back in touch with that little girl that was so mistreated and abused. And show her the other side.

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