Child Abuse Story From Valerie

Child Abuse Story From Valerie

by Valerie
(Houston, Texas, USA)

I grew up in child abuse. It started when I was in elementary school. I was in head-start at 5 years old. Yes! I can remember this day because it changed my whole life around.

It was after school on a Monday, a day I had taken a bath...my dad took me in the shower when I was little. My mom said he had to, but if only I knew he really didn't want to, I would have tried showering myself. After my bath, I went to my room and lay down. My dad came in later that night. He started to rape me. I screamed, but no one heard. No one heard me crying for my daddy stop. I remember the pain.

It wasn't only my dad, it was my stepdad. He took care of me since I was 2. So I have always called him dad.

I am now 15. He always told me not to tell anyone. He threatened to kill me and bury me 6 feet under my room. So I stayed quiet, until I went to middle school. I stopped wearing jackets. I always wore them because he left bruises on me, four finger marks. I didn't know what to say when anyone saw them, so I just walked away. One day, a teacher saw them. I had known her for 2 years, and I finally went up to her and told her. She started to cry, and she gave me her cell phone number to call her if I needed anything. So I gave her my cell phone too. She told the office because I said I would try to help myself. Then my mom came and yelled at the school and she yelled at me and she said I was lying. I didn't say anything, and I still can't say anything, because everyone thinks I am lying. I waited 11 years to tell someone, and then it turned out no one thinks I am telling the truth. Then everyone wants me to be all happy, like nothing ever happen. WRONG! I am killing inside! The teacher I told still thinks there is something wrong because the bruises are still there.

I am in child abuse still. I have to wait 3 more years. If there is anything I need now is to hope to god I can have a better life. Give me a definition of BETTER! I need help but I can't get it.

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Child Abuse Story From Valerie

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Jan 09, 2008

I believe you...
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

I believe you are telling the truth, Valerie. And your mother should have believed you too. But even more than that, your mother betrayed and abandoned you right from the get-go. She should have been there to protect and nurture you. She should have been able to hear your screams and pleas at night when your father was sexually assaulting you, and she should have come to rescue you. She should have taken steps to have your father removed from the home. He should have had charges laid against him for the criminal acts he committed against you. He should be in prison for the rest of his miserable life for what he did to you. He doesn't deserve to breathe the same air as you!

And if you think for one second that showering with your father somehow triggered a sexual response in him, think again, Valerie. If you think you could have somehow stopped the molestations if you had spoken up against showering with him, think again. You were the child; your father was the adult. You couldn't have done anything to stop him because you were completely powerless in the situation. Do not blame yourself. None of this was your fault, Valerie, none of it.

As for the teacher you referred to in your story, you may believe that she did an honourable thing by giving you her cell phone number, but she let you down every bit as much as your mother let you down. That teacher had a legal and moral duty to report what you told her to Child Services; she still does!. As a teacher, she is a mandatory reporter when it comes to known or suspected child abuse. She didn't go far enough when she simply told the people in the office at school.

As for the office staff, your mother should NOT have been called. You should have instead been interviewed by a case worker with Child Protection Services. It should have been up to the case worker to make the decision of who, if anyone, to call, but only after making an assessment on your disclosure.

You are not alone, Valerie. The number one reason children and youth don't tell is that they are afraid they won't be believed. The sad reality is, many times a child or youth is NOT believed when a disclosure of sexual abuse is made. But you are not helpless now. You can report the abuse yourself.

I strongly urge you to contact Child Help in order to talk to someone about the abuse you are still dealing with. They are staffed 24/7 with professionally trained counsellors who will talk to you. They are not a reporting agency, although they can help you through the process if you decide to report the abuse. Contact Child Help at 1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453).

Darlene Barriere
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir

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Jan 09, 2008
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Submitted by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

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I believe you are telling the truth, Valerie. And your mother should have believed you too. But even more than that, your mother betrayed and abandoned you right from the get-go. She should have been there to protect and nurture you. She should have been able to hear your screams and pleas at night when your father was sexually assaulting you, and she should have come to rescue you. She should have taken steps to have your father removed from the home. He should have had charges laid against him for the criminal acts he committed against you. He should be in prison for the rest of his miserable life for what he did to you. He doesn't deserve to breathe the same air as you! And if you think for one second that showering with your father somehow triggered a sexual response in him, think again, Valerie. If you think you could have somehow stopped the molestations if you had spoken up against showering with him, think again. You were the child; your father was the adult. You couldn't have done anything to stop him because you were completely powerless in the situation. Do not blame yourself. None of this was your fault, Valerie, none of it. As for the teacher you referred to in your story, you may believe that she did an honourable thing by giving you her cell phone number, but she let you down every bit as much as your mother let you down. That teacher had a legal and moral duty to report what you told her to Child Services; she still does!. As a teacher, she is a mandatory reporter when it comes to known or suspected child abuse. She didn't go far enough when she simply told the people in the office at school. As for the office staff, your mother should NOT have been called. You should have instead been interviewed by a case worker with Child Protection Services. It should have been up to the case worker to make the decision of who, if anyone, to call, but only after making an assessment on your disclosure. You are not alone, Valerie. The number one reason children and youth don't tell is that they are afraid they won't be believed. The sad reality is, many times a child or youth is NOT believed when a disclosure of sexual abuse is made. But you are not helpless now. You can report the abuse yourself. I strongly urge you to contact Child Help in order to talk to someone about the abuse you are still dealing with. They are staffed 24/7 with professionally trained counsellors who will talk to you. They are not a reporting agency, although they can help you through the process if you decide to report the abuse. Contact <a href="http://www.childhelp.org/get_help" target="_blank" ref-"no follow">Child Help</a> at 1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453). Darlene Barriere Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator Author: <a href="http://www.child-abuse-effects.com/my-story-of-abuse.html">On My Own Terms, A Memoir</a>

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Jan 09, 2008

sorry
by: Anonymous

im so sorry no one beleived you and it broke my heart when i read your story i fealt like crying

Jan 09, 2008

SORRY
by: Anonymous

i am so sorry no one believes you. your mom out of all people should have. i dk what i would do if i was you. that is so sad. just remember always keep your head up. dont let him get the best of you.

Jan 09, 2008

What the hell?!
by: Francine

Valerie, that is so mean that your mom wouldn't believe you at all! If I were your mom, Valerie, I'd protect you from your dad or your so-called stepdad and let you tell people and believe you! I'm so sorry! You might want to try a lot of counselling because I really feel you and your pain. Take care, sweetie!

Jan 10, 2008

It will be alright.
by: Anonymous

Hey,
I can understand what your going through and i know cross my heart that it will be alright.

Jan 10, 2008

Comment for Valerie
by: Anonymous

Are you still not getting any help?

Jan 12, 2008

I have faith in you..
by: Anonymous

Oh dear I know what you are going through. I hope that you get better. I have my faith in you.

Jan 15, 2008

Please seek help
by: Anonymous

Your teacher has a duty of care towards you and if she sees signs of abuse or is told of abuse she is obligated to tell the authorites. It is against the law not too. I suggest you tell another person about what has happend to you. You should not be in that situation. You are a child and you need to be protected. Please speak to someone and demand that you be taken away from the situation. Of course your stepfather is going to deny it. They always do. Write down everything you can remember, even the dates that the abuse happend. Write down your feelings also. This will help you. What is happening to you is CRIMMINAL and should not be tolerated. Know your rights. You are a beautiful child who deserves to be treated with dignity and respect!!

Jan 20, 2008

Valerie
by: Anonymous

You must tell someone and be strong. There are many peole who will believe you. There are also physicians who can exam you and determine an outcome. Don't be afraid, tell someone you can confide in, because it has to stop.

Jan 24, 2008

hey
by: Anonymous

oh am sorry well i dunno when u write that but i could had or can help my mom and dad are not like that they are very loving and all but hearing things like this makes me want to help dont give up please try to get a video record at least a cheap one and put in oin ur room when they knock on ur room turn it on and record i dunno

Oct 12, 2008

Sorry
by: Anonymous

I know what u r going through....please call someone to get help...if they don't listen...yell louder...show them...refuse to go home.Save yourself. I myself went through that til I turn 16. Please...your story hit home...My real "DAD", have a better name for him..anyway That is what I had to do after I told. I knew if they(him & his wife) knew I told...I would not be around now. Please reach out again and don't give up...someone will listen and help. Good luck!!!! I will have you in my thoughts.

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Child Abuse Story From Valerie

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Child Abuse Story From Valerie