Child Abuse Story From V

by V.
(Location Undisclosed)

I am a 24-year-old female. I don't remember how old I was when this happened. I think I was younger than 10. The person who did it is a family friend and is 3 or 4 years older than me. He would often come over and play at our house as he saw us as his 2nd family.

One day we were watching TV. I was sitting in the corner of the couch with a pillow on my lap and he was lying on the couch with his head on the pillow. My mother and little sister were also in the room. As we were sitting there he put his hand on my belly under the pillow. Then he slid it up under my shirt and down under my pants. Finally, he slid it down into my underwear and started touching me. I remember being really scared, but I also remember that it felt kind of good. I started getting wet down there and he pulled his hand out and looked at it disgusted. He didn't put his hand back, just wiped it on his jeans or something and I think we went back to watching TV.

He was supposed to sleep over that night. He, my older brother, and I were going to sleep on the pullout couch. He insisted that he wanted to sleep in the middle because of the bars on the sides. I remember being terrified that he would touch me again in the middle of the night and not stop this time. I raised a big stink about how I wanted my brother to sleep in the middle, but my parents just looked at me kind of confused. I don't remember what happened from then on. I don't know if I just slept in my own bed or if I slept downstairs with them.

I put it out of my mind and didn't think about it until I was a junior or senior in high school. I could never tell anyone what he did to me. My mother looks on him as a second son and it would break her heart if she knew. I couldn't do that to her.

He eventually went to college far away for about a year. I never really stopped seeing him as a friend and the summer he came back, he and I hung out a lot. We would go out at night and look at the stars and we even went skinny dipping once.

One day he was in my room lying on my sister's bed and he asked me to come lie down with him. Ever since the day on the couch I was nervous to be around him, but I went and lay down anyway, my back to his chest. He put his hand on my thigh and then started squeezing and rubbing my butt. It made me uncomfortable so I decided to put a stop to it and got up.

Eventually, he confessed to me (in front of my mom) that he had a crush on me. He still made me nervous though, so I told him that I never really thought of him as more than a brother, but I felt put on the spot. I think it really hurt his feelings. He moved to California not long after that.

I was always an outcast in school, so I've never had a boyfriend. I've only ever kissed one guy and it was kind of an anonymous thing in a club. I've wondered how my life would be if I had agreed to date this guy despite what he did to me. Our families are still in contact and I could call him and tell him I'm interested. I think maybe he did what he did because he was just a horny, curious teenager and I can kind of understand that. I don't know, maybe I'm just desperate for a boyfriend.

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