Child Abuse Story From Trish D

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Child Abuse Story From Trish D

by Trish D
(Location Undisclosed)

When I was 8 years old I spent the summer at my grandparent's house. During the three months I was there my cousin, who is 2 years older, did things. It started off with him rubbing my arms and him giving me back massages as he whispered "Shhh don't tell". It eventually escalated to him putting his hands down my shirt and pants. After a while I had become conditioned to where he didn't need to whisper in my ear because I knew the "rules". I remember at least one occasion waking up from a nap to him on top of me and both of our pants down. I feel partly to blame because I never told and I did nothing to stop it. And there's that little voice in my head saying that I must have done something to deserve what happened.

Ten years down the road I experienced a trigger and ended up telling someone for the first time, my college roommate. I almost feel like I betrayed him by telling (though I know this is an irrational thought). I'm currently going to counseling. I've been going for about 6 months now and I'm still carrying the guilt, shame, and embarrassment with me. I still shake when I talk or even think about it. I also have a lot of gaps in my memory from that summer: not really sure if that's a good thing or bad thing. I feel like a baby sometimes because compared to others my ordeal wasn't that bad, but I'm still experiencing crazy strong effects.

It was only a summer, but he took so much from me. I'm afraid of relationships and I have trust issues. I just wish the gaps in my memory would just expand to include that entire summer.

Darlene Barriere: author. speaker. survivor. coach

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Child Abuse Story From Trish D

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Jul 08, 2011

Trish:
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

You have nothing to be ashamed, guilty or embarrassed about. Nothing at all. You were a vulnerable child; this boy took advantage of that vulnerability. He had all the power, and he misused that power, taking control of you. Blaming yourself for what HE did to YOU is to take responsibility for HIS actions. He's responsible for his actions. You are not to blame. What he did to you is not your fault. You did not deserve to be sexually abused; no one does. Blame is on his shoulders because he CHOSE to sexually abuse you. That was his choice, not yours, even when you complied. And he knew it was wrong, because he told you to keep it secret. I can understand feeling that you betrayed him by telling someone; as a little girl you felt obligated to protect him by keeping the secret. But you DID eventually tell. When you blame yourself because you didn't tell sooner you are putting adult, more mature values on what you did and didn't do as a little girl. You were a little girl, Trish. And the reason you didn't tell was because of fear. He preyed on that fear and counted on it. The fact that you are now telling is what's important, because now you can deal with the effects and with your thoughts about what happened. So I hope you stay in counselling. You didn't deserve to be sexually abused. You certainly deserve help for the fact that you were. Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir

Jul 09, 2011

Please Oh Please Be gentle and kind to yourself
by: MAURICE

Trish D. Thank you for having the courage to search for and find Darlene's Safe Haven, Safe Space to share your Story: You LUCKY young woman: You Brave young woman: No looking back after reading Darlene's Comment to you: She sure has spoken from her heart to you: Reading her comment was almost hearing her on a one to one with you she related her heart true feelings to you: Now you sure know it was never and won't ever be your fault that this bold, naughty, older boy abused your innocence and your vunerability at the tender years you were and abused your beautiful body: He choose to take advantage of you: Knew exactly what he was doing therefore he was controlling you because you were so naturally innocent for your age: Please Trish D read Darlene's comment slowly, let her loving, encourageing affirming words settle in your heart letting your head make a real sense of care and concern for you: YOU'LL BE FINE: you'll begin to live your life to the full from TODAY: Don't put it off until tomorrow: One sure way to begin is to have a healthy mind in a healthy body: Yes, Trish D this will mean getting out there with your friends and like minded young women taking part in TEAM sports emphasis on TEAM and other sporting and cultural activities : You'll open up new horizons, a new way of seeing things, you'll make real natural friends for life: You will love yourself and your body more, value and resepct it's beauty: Look in the mirror, That Me beautiful looking out an my beauty: Think positive things about yourself: Celebrate YOU: I am worth celebrating, I am worth everything>>>ALWAYS BELIEVE IN YOURSELF TRISH D. My new motto: I WILL I CAN I MUST BECAUE I (ME) AM WORTH IT.

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Child Abuse Story From Trish D

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Child Abuse Story From Trish D