Child Abuse Story From Tony

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Child Abuse Story From Tony

by Tony
(London, England)

i am what you might call a survivor from sexual abuse as a child,it started when i was about 5 and mum met this man who has lived with us since.im now 42 and have moved back home after another failed relationship with a woman,is this all because of my abuse?i would say partly,
it all started when i was 5 years old,he would make me watch him masturbate and make me look at magazines ect and in them days we had no video players,but we has a super 8 projector and he got hold of some of these porn movies.he made me watch them while he masturbated and asked me to do same but i refused.
some days he would say to me come and watch me screw your mother tonight,and when i said no he would threaten me with violence or it would be you aint gettin no xmas presents or birthday presents if you dont do as i tell you,being a 5 year old kid i didnt know what to do and just did what he asked.
it got worse and i mean really bad,i know theres loads of kids out there who have been sexually or physically abused but he went one step further,apart from gettin in my bed and fondling me and trying to bugger me also.he had to go further than that...
i can remember on a few occasions he would call me into the bedroom,and there was my mum tied to the bed and appeared to be knocked out or drunk im not sure,he would make me watch him do things to her and then he made me touch her,and he also made me do the most disgusting thing you might ever hear on this website.im sure i dont need to explain further.
i have moved in and out of mums home for ages,im now 42 and back home with mum for a year now.

he is getting old and ill and he just makes me want to kill him,he has no conscience and always moaning or arguing and cosntantly winds me up,its really amazing after all the stuff hes done to me that he continues to do this,doesnt he think hmmm if i keep winding him up he might snap and tell his mother what i have done to him i the past?
no he obviuosly does not care as he has proven he has no conscience wotsover.
i sit at the dinner table sometimes and feel like stabbing him in the throat with a fork.he just irriates me and hes always playing mind games,hes totally evil and im scared im going to kill him soon.
he also makes my mum miserable and i feel a total failure in everything and for not getting rid of him,my mum is so unhappy and she says dont worry he will be gone soon as hes not well.
she doesnt know about what he did to me and im too scared to tell her and it might make her even more depressed.
i have told a few girlfriends about this and my friends,they simply say go to the police,but i cant make myself do it.
this has ruined my life basically and continues to make me miserable living with him.i cant get a job or save money,as i live in the uk/london its not easy getting your own place to live.

Darlene Barriere: author. speaker. survivor. coach

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Child Abuse Story From Tony

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Dec 29, 2011

Tony:
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

If you believe you'll never get a job, then you'll never get a job. I'm going to be firm with you: a 42-year-old HAS options. As a full-fledged adult you can choose to live elsewhere, a choice you didn't have as a child. As a child you were powerless. As an adult you have that power. You can choose to continue to live as a victim or you can live as a survivor...it really is a choice. You know you pose a danger to this sick twisted excuse of a man, yet you stay and risk the rest of your life for someone who quite frankly isn't worth it. Take back your power, Tony. Treat your Self with the dignity and respect you weren't given as a child. Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir

Dec 29, 2011

Tony,
by: AnonymousT

It's HARD to think differently than you always have.
This man has caused pain and anguish that never should have existed. He abused you horribly.

You can leave. It will be hard & financially difficult but you CAN do it. All you need to do is go to work every day saying, "I can do today." EVERY day say that. It's a day to day thing. It gets you out of their house AND gives you some purpose & pride. You MUST do daily affirmations and you MUST look into some sort of counseling.

The Courage to Heal was a very good book, please look into it for your own well-being. It helped me.

Good luck to you. Please do not kill anyone, just get out. You cannot help her, she chose this life. But you can help yourself. My husband is a year older than you & he is YOUNG, you have time to do what you want! So do it & don't look back!

Dec 30, 2011

The sooner, the better
by: Anonymous

Tony, your friends are right; please look into reporting that slimy pervert of a stepdad because offenders don't change their ways until they're made to stop, so, again, TELL, TELL, TELL!

Dec 30, 2011

reply to y story
by: Anonymous

hi everyone thanks for your kind replys to my story,i wont kill no one its just at times we all have rows and sometimes see the red mist,i feel sad for my mum not knowing what a monster she lives with,yes im 42 years young and have loads of time left in my life to do things that i know of.
my mum says she dont know what to do with him,he upsets her too but for different reasons,she just keeps telling me hes so ill he will be gone soon,and it really does seem like the only way to have this weight taken off our shoulders.
but i know its not the right way to live waiting fir someone to die to get peace of mind i know.anyone whos been in my situation especially if it was years ago will prob understand how hard it is to tell anyone about their abuse,what can be done,can he still be arrested?wheres the evidence?
also hes a very clever or thinks he is.he does things to make himself look good,he picked me up from my ex when we split up,he paid off a bit of debt for me,he lent me money,i know i should have refused the help but hes clever becuase all he has to do is bring up these things hes done for me if ever i had it out with him about my abuse or told the police or an athourity.
he would just sit there and say why did i so this or that for hom then if i abused him.
why would i let him live here ect ect.
those who dont know him think hes nice,becuase hes friendly with everyone.if only they knew the real man and what he was.in my books you cannot make up for child abuse,nothing you do can make it better.
is it ok that you sexually abused a cild years ago becuase you have done them a few favour over the years?
certainly not,its unforgivable.i hate the man and hate it when he chats so friendly to everyone,even his brothers dont know what he really is.
i am very strong and thats why im here today,others have not been so lucky.

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Child Abuse Story From Tony

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Child Abuse Story From Tony