Child Abuse Story From Susie

by Susie
(Texas, USA)

When I was twelve years old, I spent the night with my older sister, her husband, and their son. I was asleep; and was awakened by my sister's husband. He had his face up next to mine and was telling me to be a good girl and not tell. Next my nephew woke up and cried; so he ran into the kitchen where my sister went to fix him a bottle. I was terrified because he was drunk and in his underwear. I didn't know exactly what he had done; but I was sore and irritated in the genital area for 2-3 days afterward.

After that incident, I was terrified of him and avoided him as much as I could. For some reason, I felt too guilty to tell anyone. I knew it was wrong. I knew it was his fault. Still, I did not want to be the one to "ruin" the family.

Because I did not tell, my mother would make me babysit for them. When they came home, he would always be the one to take me home. He would make passes and say nasty things to me like threatening to run away with me. This went on for years.

When I was nineteen, my mother and I spent the night with them. I made sure I slept in the same room as her so he would not bother me. I woke up in the middle of the night with him sitting at the head of my bed, in his underwear. I suppose he was touching me again. I told him he'd better get out of the room before my mother woke up. He left the room but stood exposing himself in the hall. When daylight came, I told my mother I was ready to go. On the way home, I told her everything. She was highly upset that I hadn't told her before but also madder that it happenend. She and my sister had words, who just blamed it on alcohol and nothing else was ever done. I was grown and did not have to be around him if I didn't want to; so I just went on with my life.

I realize that this story is nothing compared to most others; but my point was to stress that even one incident or one attempted incident can have a profound effect on a child. I lived in great fear for years. I still don't understand how he could do it and how the rest of the family could just accept it and go on. I guess I will carry that sadness to the grave...

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